Teacher's Sin

5th Sunday, continued...

"No" I say and stop looking at him and sit up. He doesn't say anything and neither do I. He's on his side with an elbow on the bed holding him up and I'm just sitting up, processing what just happened. "I can't" I say and run my fingers through my hair. "Is it 'cause of him?" He asks.

"Don't put this on Zane, he has nothing to do with it" I say and turn to face him "that's surprising, because lately he's been interfering with our relationship a lot" he says "see this is what I didn't want" I say and start raising my voice.

"Oh whatever Jane, if you still are in love with him tell me so I know what to expect from now on" he says "oh fuck you Elijah, what the fuck do you mean expect, do you really think I'm going to go fuck him?" I say angry "well Jane its hard to tell nowadays" he says "fuck you" I say and slap him.

I get in my wheelchair and head to the bathroom thats down the hallway, away from my room. I lock myself in the bathroom and start to sob. I turn the sink and shower on so whoever comes to the door can't hear me crying and I stay in there for what feels like 5 minutes.
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Hours later
I get out of the shower and into my wheelchair then call Lenora to the bathroom so she could grab me clean clothes to wear. She goes to my room and comes back after a few minutes and gives me clean clothes. I get dressed and get out of the bathroom then head to my room, hoping that Elijah isn't in there. I pass by the staircase and see that the sun had risen already.

I get in my room and there he was sitting up on my bed, leaning on the headboard. He looks at me and gets closer to me. My eyes are bloodshot red and puffy from how much I had cried over the past few hours, and he can tell. "I didn't mean it, any of it" he says and tries to grab my hand. "Don't touch me" I say and throw my dirty clothes that were in my hands in the corner.

I grab a claw clip and clip my hair back. "Jane, please" he says "please what Elijah, what else do you have to say to me" I say and look at him. He just stares at me. "Not even an, I'm sorry?" I say and scoff and sarcastically smile "I wasn't sure if thats what you wanted me to say Jane." He says.

"Well considering that you basically called me a hoe Elijah, anything would've been better than that" I say now angry again. "I didn't call you that" he says and his eyebrows furrow "in different words, you did" I say "I didn't" he says "okay whatever, you believe what you want to believe, 'cause you've seem to be doing that a lot nowadays" I say quoting him and start getting on my bed.

"Jane, don't hate me please, I'm sorry Jane, I really didn't mean anything that I said" he say's and get on his knees. "Get up" I say "not until you accept my apology" he says "you're going to be there for a while" I say and start sniffling and getting under my covers. "Jane please forgive me" he says again. "I'm going to sleep get out" I say and try to hold in the bursting tears that are about to come out.

He walks out hesitantly and shuts the door and I immediately start sobbing. I try to cry into my pillow so I'm not loud but every time I catch my breath it's loud and I know he can hear it if he's just outside waiting.

I eventually fall asleep and I feel at peace for a couple of hours. I don't feel pain, love, hate, guilt. I just feel at peace with myself and everything that's been happening to me.
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Elijah's POV:
"Jane wake up, you have got to eat something" I say and softly touch her "I'm not hungry" she says "I wasn't asking" I say and sit on the edge of the bed. "I didn't ask you to bring me food yet here you are, I'm not hungry" she says making it difficult to take care of her.

"Jane please" I ask "I'M NOT FUCKING HUNGRY ELIJAH!" She yells and lays down on her stomach. I don't say anything, shocked at her reaction. "I'll leave it here" I say and leave the food on her counter.

I leave her room and wait by the stairs for a couple of minutes then head to my bedroom. I get in the shower and just let the water run down on me. As I'm holding her ring in my hand that I never got to show her I get out of the shower and throw it in the toilet then flush it down the drain.

"Maybe next time" I whisper to myself and a tear starts to fall down my cheek. I get back in the shower and just stand there thinking about how many times I've fucked up our relationship. It's all been because of me and I'm not sure how much more Jane can continue to go on like this until she is done with me.

I know what I have to do, I'll do what's best for her.