More Than Divergent

3. Knee-Jerk Reaction

I slumped against a tree and tried to catch my breath. The fallen branch had disintegrated into pieces and embedded parts of itself in my hands. I must have been screaming because my throat felt rasped and stung with the cool intake of fresh air. My cheek cooled with the steady stream of tears that I didn't bother holding in.

I was angry. I was resentful. I was hopeless. I was jealous.

Tris and Tobias had each other. They had the assured safety of having their person there next to them. They had that contentment, that confirmation that the other one was safe, was alive.

Eric is alive. I scolded myself.

They had each other and I held resentment towards them. And what hurt the most was that I knew if the places was switched, Eric would follow through. I knew if it was Tris or Tobias left behind, Eric would complain and try to reason otherwise, but in the end he would do it. He would come up with this grand plan to get them out safely. Eric would do it because he would know how much it would mean to me. He proved that when he helped me escape.

Don't ask me to choose because I'm scared I won't choose them...

I meant it then and now. Maybe I chose wrong the wicked thought creeped into my mind.

I wiped the residual wetness from my cheeks and stood up dusting the dirt from my pants. I winced as the fresh splinters made their selves known. The walk back to the Amity compound seem longer than I expected. Then again I was in a rage and the distance was the last thing I thought of. Once I cleared the trees I used what little moonlight was available to pick out any of the wooden pieces. 

"Do you always throw that big of a tantrum?" Peter's voice was a mix of impressed and annoyed. When I didn't answer him he ran up alongside me. "I bet it helped. I know I personally I would've like to shoot off a couple rounds, but we can't exactly be pulling our guns out because we're not supposed to have them" he whisper yelled that part. I continued to ignore him and kept my eye on the building my room was in. "So what happened? I assume its something third wheelie, since they seemed fine after you left. Doesn't that get on your nerves? Like even I know you're the reason why they're together right now. Without you Four would probably still be in the simulation and Tris would be dead."

"Shut up"

"Because lets face it, only one of you was the top initiate" he continued. "Only one of you could really fight or handle a gun." We were nearing the entrance of the building now. "I mean it sucks that they are together and you're alone being the third wheel because you left Eric behind. Hey can I ask, were you guys together during the whole initiation or at the end, because I still have a hard time accepting you beat out every-"

I was tired from swinging that branch around. I swung it into the surrounding trees, fallen logs and into the dirt. It was exhausting, but Peter talking renewed my energy. Before he could finish that last sentence I swept my leg under him and he fell hard to the floor. It was all a blur of fists, hair and dirt. Dirt was in my eyes, in my mouth and blood. He got in a good shot to the jaw and my teeth cut the inner part of my lip. The taste of blood set me off and I charged at Peter again. I had wrestled behind him with my arms wrapped tightly around his throat while my legs cinched his waist. I felt him struggle against the tightening pressure but that only made me hold on even tighter.

"Let him go Theo" I heard my brother's voice rushed and then a tugging. Someone was pulling at my arm that I had secured around Peter.

"Theodora!" Caleb's voice called out in a panic. I ignored it all as I took satisfaction in Peter's weakening resistance. He was nearly about to give up resisting me, soon he'd slip into unconsciousness.

"Theodora" that voice stopped me cold. Not because it was louder than the rest it was barely an octave over normal speaking volume. I stopped because it came from Marcus. Marcus had the gift of articulation. He had mastered the art of inflection. He had several tones at his disposal, he could call attention any room. I had seen him quiet down whole factions with a simple greeting. Or to let those know a discussion was over and the subject matter was dropped. Yet, some of his tones he saved for specific circumstances. He had his fatherly voice that expressed disappointment he used in public. In private he had a timbre that stopped me cold in my tracks. It was that voice that stopped me, that bitter snap of the emphasized D in my name and harsh silence that followed it. The silence was the warning of what was to come.

Out of habit my eyes went to Tobias, who recognized the voice just as I did.

"Theodora" Marcus repeated still keeping his voice menacingly. I let go of Peter and scrambled away from Peter. I crawled backwards until I had no more space. "We are guests" his Abnegation leader voice now spoke to me. Tobias reached down and offered me a hand.

"He can't do anything" Tobias whispered me almost like he also tried to convince himself. "Theo" My eyes never left Marcus'. I knew that when we were alone I would receive my punishment. The discipline of the father to his unruly wild child. Tobias had to pull me up to my feet. "He can't do anything anymore"

"Theo" I heard Caleb's voice just before feeling a hand on my arm. I jumped at the reaction.

"What's going on?" Johanna emerged with several other members of Amity behind her.

"Just a misunderstanding Johanna" Marcus switched to his charismatic nonchalant voice. "One that was resolved, isn't that right Theodora?"

"Yes father" I answered automatically as I had for years. My eyes finding the floor.

"Peter?" Johanna asked Peter who was starting to stand up and coughed while rubbing his neck.

"Yea it's all fine" he coughed. "I was choking on a piece of that delicious bread, and Theo here  did the Heimlich maneuver." Peter's lie ended with a cough. "I think she just needs more practice on her technique" Peter flashed a quick smile before entering a coughing fit.

"Theodora?" Johanna said.

"He was choking" I answered not lifting my gaze.

"Alright" Johanna said dissatisfied and turn her attention to her own faction. "Everything is fine, return to your nightly rituals" her honey voice now in its place.

"Theodora" Caleb's hand hovered on my arm and then recoiled before making contact.

"I'm fine" I pulled my arm from Tobias and stepped back.

"Theodora" Marcus said once again.

"No!" I snapped. "No you don't get to talk to me" said rushing to him. "You don't get to talk to me like that ever again."

"I expected some appreciation being as I just saved you from being removed from our current refuge" Marcus crossed his arms.

"You get nothing" I seethed. "I am not that weak little girl anymore Marcus. I have no reservations about ending you." I stared him down with renewed anger of how I reverted backward. I knew he wouldn't do anything while we were here in Amity. Hell I doubt he would ever put his hands on me again. I would kill him. He knows that. I knew that. "And while we're on the subject, there is no us, our, or we. There is nothing but shared temporary space. Stay the fuck away from me" I turned to walk into the building. "Same goes for you fucker" I spat at Peter as I brushed past him.

I stormed past my room and straight into the bathroom to take a shower longer than 5 fucking minutes.