Press Release

38: Press Into Me

Xavier's shocked look is almost more than I can stand with a straight face. "Look, X. Here's the truth. I want children. Desperately. But while I am a fabulous uncle and a brilliant godfather, being a father is something completely different. I'm terrified of the thought of screwing up someone else's life."

Swallowing hard at the serious turn our talk has taken, Xavier gives me his full attention, "Are you and Olivia going to.....?"

I don't know how to answer that, so I brush it off and try to lighten the mood, "Look, I don't know who I want to have children WITH," (which is a total lie), "but I am definitely scared I won't be a good dad."

"Meg says you just learn on the job," X reveals, and I take in his stance. Here we are, two men, over a decade apart, both feeling the same fear.

"Well, then I guess you better start learning," I clap him on the back and steer us back inside the apartment where the women are laughing together over something, and I try not to worry too much about what it could be.

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"So they were so adorable on the couch last night, and then this morning they put the sheets in the washing machine. Oh, my! I cannot tell you, Meg, how much having Titus here has changed things between the two of us. Thank you for loaning him to us," Minnie is laughingly filling Meg in on the older couple's time as faux parents.

"So do you think you and Harry will try to have kids now?" Meg asks unabashedly.

"Honestly? We're not at the stage in our relationship. In fact, we're not at ANY stage in our relationship," Minnie reveals.

"Oh, I don't believe that," Meg is insistent, "I've watched the two of you with each other since promo started. I feel confident enough to say, 'He's in luuuuuuv,'" she slurs the word out, and Minnie winces.

"So you've known? You weren't surprised to see him here today?" Biting her nails, Minnie looks out at the balcony where the boys are standing, and a surge of pride at thinking of Harry as "hers" sweeps over her.

"Surprised?! I would have been shocked if you hadn't called him last night. The look on your face when I left you alone with Titus was like a guppy out of water," Meg giggles. "I've known since that day you came back after lunch and kept sitting funny on the chair, shifting side to side. Every time there was a break, Harry would look at you with this searing look, and that's when the thought occurred to me that there might be something between you."

Minnie rolls her eyes, "And I thought we were being so subtle."

Cracking up, Meg pulls the older woman in for a hug, "Listen, you're good for him. He's good for you. So I've enjoyed watching the two of you. And I'm pretty confident no one else noticed."

Minnie wraps her arms around Meg, whispering, "Thank you, sweet Meg. And here I thought I was the only one aware of my turmoil."

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When Meg and Xavier and Titus finally climb into the elevator, I'm a bit relieved to have our quiet back again. As soon as the lift doors close following our sequence of "Bye!" and "See you later!" and "Kisses!" along with hugs all over, the silence descends. And I wonder if maybe I should have dressed and left with the younger couple and child.

It's Monday.

I've never spent a Monday at her place. Which causes me to ponder how long we've actually been together. Day by day it feels like a lot because we've been nearly inseparable. But it's not yet mid-March, and technically we only met on my birthday which was about 6 weeks ago.

Does it matter that we've only known each other 6 weeks? Cause it feels like I've known her forever. Certainly longer than I ever knew Misty, and we were together for years. But there's something about this woman that has made me comfortable in less than 2 months. I feel like I know her better than I ever knew my fiancée.