Encounters With Abigail

Chapter Eleven

    My legs aren't working properly so it takes us a while to get into my apartment but as soon as the door closes behind us, I pull Abi back pressing her against it throwing my arms clumsily around her waist, crushing our lips together. 

   I feel like I have been starved of her and when she instantly responds sliding hands round my neck and tongue into my mouth, it's obvious she feels the same. Pushing my knee between her leg's grinding my body onto her, the feeling of Abigail's soft body against mine sending my head into frenzy.

  Picking the worst time possible, nausea takes dominance. I push her away stumbling down the hall to the bathroom. My foot catches as I swing through the door and my hands fly out catching me inches from the toilet. I lose the little food I had and a whole lot of bile.

  I drive the heels of my hands into my eye sockets and groan, Abigail sits beside me gently rubbing my back. "Well, this is this first time my kiss has literally made someone sick" Her voice is soft at my ear. I snicker and quickly regret it, wincing at the pain while trying to push my brain back from my eyeballs. "Is it always this bad?"

"This is nothing compared to the last one" I let out a shaky breath "I don't think I'm going to pass out this time" Her hand drifts up from my back to the side of my head stroking where I face planted last month. "Yeah, it was lucky that I managed to make it through the door before I went down"

"Does anything help them?"

"Not really, I'm on the strongest medication I can get but it only really dulls the pain for a little while or some equally fun side effect will take over the torment so I just have to ride it out most of the time. Other people have it much worse so I really shouldn't complain." Abi remains silent.

   My whole-body tenses as another round of hammering thunders through my head. Abigail's hand rests on my thigh and I know we need to get off this floor she must be uncomfortable. I've spent so many hours laying on these cool, solid tiles at this point it's like the embrace of an old friend.

   I would rather Abi doesn't find out how truly fucked up my life is so I unclench my fists slowly lowering my hands the light from the hallway painfully floods my vison and I cringe resisting the urge to close them again. When my eyes find Abigail's glistening ones my heart falls to my feet. I pull her into my arms and feel tears on my shoulder. "Please don't cry, I am fine once I sleep. Don't cry. I can't bare it. I'm not worth the tears." I bury my face in her hair as she cries harder.

  We stay wrapped in each other in silence for a long time before she wriggles out of my arms to speak, "Alex, you have no idea the impact you have had on my life...I" she stops chewing on her bottom lip.

"What?" Is all I whisper desperately needing to know what is going on in her head.

"I feel alive when I'm with you" the lip chewing returns, "I want to help you so you don't end up passed out alone again" she lets out a hard breath "please let me in Alex" Abigail is practically pleading causing my heart to clench painfully in my chest.

  I open my mouth but quickly clamp it shut knowing I can't talk about this without having a complete breakdown and I am far too exhausted to even attempt to put myself back together afterward so I just bring her back into me again resting my chin on her shoulder.

"Just so you know, you have been in my head every single day since we met." I relinquish my grip to take her face in my hands "Thank you for existing Abigail, I didn't think it was possible for me to feel this way anymore" smiling through tears she leans in to my lips but I cover her mouth with my hand "nasty let me brush my teeth first" she giggles beneath my fingers and I plant a light kiss on her cheek.