Encounters With Abigail

Chapter Thirty- One

The chilly early September English air swiftly reminds me that I haven't packed anything other than shorts so we make a detour to my apartment before we go to Thomas' family hotel. - Where the four of us will stay since Victor still hasn't been caught -

True to my word Abigail is with me with Thomas and Anna trailing up the rear. I swing open the door I don't know what I expected but it's not the sight before me. Shards of vinyl are scattered across the hall as far as my eyes can see; I numbly walk forward legs trembling with every step, not able to look what is undoubtedly going to break me to my right but when I hear Abi sob "oh god" my eyes involuntary move toward the carnage.

My entire wall of records is destroyed, not a single one is left in its sleeve, shards blanket every inch of the living room. I slam my fist into the counter before sliding my face into my hands a fresh slice of white-hot pain roars in my heart.

I release two short breaths before my heart stops and shreds itself, I can't hold myself together anymore, this is too much to control. I'm easily overpowered free falling into the never-ending abyss of pain. Hearing Anna whimper behind me edges me closer to a complete shutdown like what happened after mum's death and I don't know if I can claw myself back out, so I stumble out of my apartment crumpling down the wall outside. Previously patched up pain now set free with agonising raw edges.

Five years ago, when Anna and I arrived on Edward's doorstep miserable with only a couple of suitcases of clothes and keepsakes, he insisted that we make a list of anything we wanted from our old house, any of our mother's things, personal items we couldn't cram into my car and he would retrieve them for us. I had grabbed all the pictures I wanted before we left so I only had one request.

My mum's vinyl collection and record player.

I have subconsciously been adding to it since mum died, two records are in my case right now. She had got her record player for her eighteenth birthday, it's in a dark brown pine box with daises etched into the lid. I had always been fascinated with it and have hundreds of memories of listening to it with her and Anna so mum had promised it to me if anything should happen to her and now it's gone. All the vintage records she had collected since her teenage years destroyed. Yet another part of her now dead.

It's pure agony, every beat of my heart feels like I've been stabbed, slowly bleeding out, each thump of my heart aches more than the last, it's impossible to get a full breath as I hug my knees to my head.

The sound of crunching in my apartment is the only thing that rockets me to my feet. I walk as fast as my shaking legs will allow toward the lift, hammering the button repeatedly.

Unfortunately, I crumble to my knees before the doors open and can't even muster the energy to drag myself inside before they close so I just sit outside sobbing so violently that my shoulders and ribs throb with pain unable to even raise my hand to call the elevator again.

After a while, I manage drag myself back to my feet and into my wrecked apartment. I can't bear to look at the disaster of my living room again as I power walk to my bedroom in hope that I can salvage anything from there. I get to the door when my foot crunches on glass I look down to the shattered frame, slowly moving my foot, another wave of pain slices straight through me. I close my eyes. Hold it together Alex. Hold on.

It's the one of mum, Anna and me on Christmas when I was thirteen. I bend down and try to ease the picture from the broken pieces thankfully, I get it out with just a minor nick to the corner and I could cry just looking into my mother's bright eyes.

Hugging it to my chest composing myself before putting it into my pocket. When I stand Abi is staring at me her face showing the misery that is currently clawing through my veins. "I am so sorry" a tear falls from her eye, I swiftly encase my arms round her knowing I'm teetering on the edge of joining her.