Encounters With Abigail

Chapter Nineteen

TW: Domestic Abuse, Child loss (brief mention)

   Abigail reaches up to the counter above us tapping until she finds the bottle, taking a long drink before handing it to me. We pass the bottle back and forth until its empty. I wait for her to speak.

   Instead she stands walking over to the cupboard sliding out a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels, Abi takes a long drink then settles back on my thighs she offers me some but I refuse since my throat is already on fire from the vodka and I really need to focus on her past.

  She takes another drink, placing the bottle beside us,  mumbling "you are going to think I'm awful" eyes already filling with tears.

  "I could never think that Abigail" pausing, aware this is probably not the best time to say it but I need her to know now so I gently run my thumb across her jawline "You know I love you right? And nothing you're about to say could make me love you less."

  The feeling of her tears hitting my fingers burns a agonising hole deep inside my chest. I want to tell her to forget about it that she doesn't need to tell me what happened but before the words make it to my lips, Abigail opens hers.

 "Four years ago, I met a guy on a shite dating app I agreed to go on a date with him, but felt something was off the first time I met him. My friends insisted that I was too cynical and should give him another chance." She takes another drink then drops into me, sobbing against my chest. Slowly rubbing her back I'm already regretting ever asking her to share this.

 "He was kind but it always had an edge, before I knew what was going on he had me gaslit to hell, I was poisoned against everyone. My family has always been close but I just stopped talking to them. Point blank refusing to believe what everyone was telling me, even although they were right. He is an unhinged monster." Abigail is shaking horribly so I hold her tight to me waiting for her to continue.

 "I have never wanted children and I was obsessive about taking the pill at the same time every morning. I had an alarm and everything for it, so when I found out I was pregnant it was devastating but his claws were so deep inside my head he managed to convince me to keep it." Abi lifts her head looking desperately into my eyes begging me to understand her. 

 "I was a complete wreck Alex, he controlled my entire life and thanks to him fucking with my head for months I had no one left in my life... I just did what he told me to." She is in a full-blown panic now so pull her head into my chest, giving her some privacy to calm down.

"A few days later he arrives home drunk, I asked him to clean up his beer cans since it was making me want to vom but something in him just snapped. He punched me in the eye with such force he knocked me off my feet."

   Staring off clearly checked out of this room she continues, "I'm convinced this side of him always existed he just wanted me completely isolated... shackled to him, before he unleashed it on me." A strangled noise of pain leaves her and I softly drop a kiss into her hair, at complete loss of words.

  "It was like he broke the spell right there and then, I ran to our room barricading myself inside. Packing what I could into my case and waited until he passed out so I could escape to my parents house. I was amazed they even let me in considering how much of a raging bitch I had been to them those past few months, but thankfully they did" 

  Abi swallows hard begging "please don't hate me for this Alex" I'm confused why would I hate her for leaving an abusive relationship? "Victor started stalking me relentlessly he smashed up my car, broke into my parents home and destroyed everything we owned. Moving was pointless, he always found me."

   "I knew I couldn't love the thing growing inside me, I never wanted kids to begin with and could never love something he helped create. I felt violated. I couldn't carry it any longer I was a shambles mentally barely making it from one day to the next. Had I been forced to keep it, I know without a doubt I would have killed myself, so mum agreed with me when I begged her to take me to get an abortion."