Through Love Alone

1: Only Dreaming

A few notes before we begin:

Hi guys, I'm Sophia! Thank you so so much for taking the time to read my story. I care about this story a lot, and plan to update at least 1+ times a week. This is my first ever story so I would appreciate any comments or suggestions anyone has! I would love to hear how you guys like certain parts of the story, or the plot as a whole. Onto the story!

Second: If you have not watched Private Practice, all you need to know is that Addison moved to LA to work at a private medical practice with her friends as described in the story. Unlike PP, I brought some characters over from Greys to further advance the plot. Enjoy!

Addison POV:
This was always the most peaceful part of my day. This moment, right here. Just my sister Amelia and I, sitting on the balcony in the fresh L.A. air. Being with Amelia is usually like taking a break from all my thoughts. She does all the talking. But tonight was different.

"Addie," I heard her call, deep in my thoughts. "Addiieeee," she called back. I still did not answer. "I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed.

"What!" I immediately answered back.

"Ah, there you are. I thought I lost you there for a sec," she said with her signature smirk.

"What was that for?" I questioned sternly, although I couldn't hide the laughter escaping from my lips.

"More like what is going on with you? You've been in the clouds all evening," she noted more seriously.

Ah, what was up with me? I have been trying to have children for countless years. I've always wanted to be a mom, but it's just never been in the cards. First, I was waiting for the right guy. Then, I was too busy. And then, I had no chance of fertility. So, I've been trying my hand at the very longgg adoption process.

All of my boxes were checked. I had already filled out all of my paperwork. The social worker came last week to ensure that my house was fit for a child. That was probably one of the most nerve wrecking experiences I have had outside of the hospital: definitely falling short of the date approaching.

"I'm meeting a kid in a few days," I answered Amelia. "Two days. I'm meeting her in two days." At that, Amelia put a palm to her face.

"Oh, come on Addie. You are literally givin' me nothing here," she muddled through her hand. "What kid? You see kids everyday. I can tell this means something to you. Come on Addie, you can talk to me," she said, much more comforting now.

"I'm trying to adopt a child. I'm heading down to a group home on Sunday afternoon to have a visit with one of their kids. The idea is, that if everything goes according to plan I should be her foster parent within the next month, and then we can get started on the adoption," I explained very business-like. I get like that when I get nervous- business like. I think it's a doctor thing. I took a long sip of my wine while I waited for Amy to say something.
"Oh my gosh Addie! This is- this is amazing!" Amy replied. "Do you know anything about her yet?"

"Not really," I sighed. "All I know is that she is eight years old, and her name is Clara."

"Clara," Amelia repeated, smiling up at me. She paused for a moment. "You're finally gonna make me Auntie Amelia."

I liked the thought. Really, I did. But it scared me. This was getting real. I could possibly be a mother to this child.

"Amy, don't get ahead of yourself," I laughed.

"What?" she replied, obviously confused. "Aren't you excited?" she added, noticing the concern slowly covering up my smile. Amy has known me for a very long time. She knows me very well. I know her very well.

"Of course I'm excited. I'm just so scared," I said honestly. "I don't want to mess her up, like my parents did me. What if I push her away? What if I put way too much pressure on her and she hates me for it? Wha-"

Amy stopped me, putting her hand overtop mine. "Addie," she said. "You're going to be an amazing mother. You learned what not to do from Bizzy. You won't turn out like her," she explained.

I smiled up at Amelia.

Bizzy was my mother. She was the definition of a WASP. I am from a very wealthy family, and she never let me forget it. She put a tremendous amount of pressure on my brother, Archer, and I. I love her. Of course I do. But I resent her for it.

"Plus, you've had practice with Lucas," she added.

Lucas was the son of two of my co-workers, Violet and Pete. Lucas was brought into the world in a terrifying manner. After that, Violet had to leave for a bit. Who could blame her? During that time, I helped Pete raise Lucas. Lucas had almost become my own son. Although I love Violet dearly, I was heartbroken when she came back, as that meant I lost Lucas. Not entirely, as I still see him, but I had to stop holding onto being his mother.

I inched my chair closer to Amelia's, and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. Then, she booped me on the nose in typical Amy fashion. We sat there for a while, just the two of us.

Clara POV:
"Hey Clara, what's goin through that mind of yours?" My sister Cora asked. She wasn't my biological sister, that much was very clear. She had olive skin, and beautiful dark hair. She was also much older than me- 15 to be exact. She always took care of me.

"I'm meeting with a possible foster or adoptive parent in a few days," I explained. Cora looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, plopping down on my bed next to me.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I just wanted to make sure it was really happening before I got your hopes up- and mine."

That was the truth. I had been let down countless times before. I was really hoping that this lady would be different- that she would actually care about me. The sad reality is that a lot of foster parents just care about the paycheck. There was already something different about this time though: she had marked that she was interested in adoption.

"So, you're nervous huh?" Cora asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yea, I'm terrified actually. I just want her to like me, you know? She wants to take me somewhere on Sunday. I have to make a good impression with her, 'cause like Josh says- I'm running out of chances. I'm getting older."

Josh was another boy who lived in the group home with Cora and I. He was also 15 years old. We lived with about 4 other kids as well, but Josh and I had never gotten along. Joanna, our caretaker, had always tried to keep him out of my way- but some things, she just couldn't stop.

"Oh, screw Josh," Cora replied- laughing, but serious. She had never liked Josh either. "Number one: you are not running out of chances. You are only eight! Number two: you are going to make an amazing first impression. As soon as you look up at her with your pretty hazel eyes she'll adore you. I'm sure of it," she said. "Alright, I have to go fix the laundry. I should be back in before you go to sleep, but if not- goodnight," she said, planting a kiss on her hand and patting it to my head.

Once Cora left the room, I flopped my head down against my pillows. What if I really do get adopted? I'll miss my room here, the one that I share with Cora. I'll miss her most. I'll miss all of my artwork up on the walls. Other than going to school, that's how I typically pass my time: painting and drawing whatever comes to mind. I'll miss Joanna. She's always been kind to me. She's the first caretaker I've ever had who has been. At least I won't miss Josh.

I was off in dream land before I knew it