My nap lasts longer than expected because once I'm woken up, it's to Maggie telling me everyone was back. I stumble out to see them all gathering near the bottom of the stairs. "Hey." I smile up at Daryl deciding to stop beside him. My smile must still hold some sleep because I notice how his brows furrow the slightest bit as he looks down at me. "Were you sleeping? You can go back up and I'll fill you in later." I shake my head as my smile grows a bit. "Nah that's okay, I'm up now." I shrug before a yawn escapes my slightly parted lips.
"You sure?" He asks as I rub my eyes. "Positive." I mumble before leaning against his arm. He then shifts his crossbow, to his other shoulder. I have to bite down on lip to hide my growing smile at his actions, since Rick had started speaking. We listen to him as he tells us that he'd decided, we were going to war with the Governor. That was fine with me but the only worry I have is my sister. I push that from my mind for now, I would deal with that when I had to.
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"You worried?" Daryl asks, he'd accompanied me outside because he'd claimed it wasn't safe when I said I was going. "Not really, I know we'll deal with the Governor. I'm just worried my sister might get caught up in the middle of all this." He nods, "she's gonna be alright." He assures me but I just have a feeling like maybe she won't.
"I know this is bad but I kinda wish I never found her." I don't know why I admit that, I regret saying it immediately and Daryl just looks at me in surprise. "Really?" I drop my head into my hands as I shake it. "Yes, no. I don't know, I just... I'm scared to see them again. I don't regret finding her, I don't." I affirm before sighing.
"All I ever wanted was to see her and my family again. She was eleven Daryl, she's not what I remember, not what I expected and I know that I'm sure as hell not what she expected. Her and my mom, they're gonna hate me, hate what I've become. I know it, I know that like me, they were clinging to memories...and I can't be what they want." He watches me intently but doesn't speak yet, he's waiting to see if I have anything else to say.
"I can't be fifteen year old me again and I know... I know that they're gonna wanna know what happened, what I went through but I don't want to tell them. I don't want to hurt them, I don't want that to be all they see when they look at me." I pull my lip between my teeth as I take a breath.
"I don't want to be the girl who was kidnapped for the rest of my life. I'm more than that." Daryl takes my balled up fist in his hand making me relax. He links his fingers with mine, "no one will hate you, ain't no way." He tells me this surely as his thumb brushes over my knuckles. "And you ain't gotta tell anyone anything that you don't want to. If you don't wanna talk about it, they're gonna have to respect that." I nod still pretty deep in thought until Daryl's face is pulled down with a frown and his thumb finds its way to my lips.
I didn't realise I'd been biting so hard that I'd drawn blood. "I promise you ain't got a thing to worry about, I'll be there to tell everyone to fuck off and leave you alone." He smiles in relief once I laugh at his words. "Thanks Daryl." He shakes his head at me before getting up and holding his hand out. "C'mon we should probably get back inside."
"Can we just stay out a bit longer?" I plead looking up at him, he doesn't say no and so I grab his hand and pull him down to sit beside me. "So anything you wanna get off your chest?" I question seeing as I unloaded quite a lot on him. "Nah, not really." I nod, "that's okay, we can just sit here." I tell him before leaning my head on his shoulder and intwining our fingers.
We end up going in after I'd fallen asleep, Daryl had tried to lift me without waking me but I ended up waking up anyways. "You really love outside huh?" He hums as we walk, "yeah, I love the fresh air. Feeling the wind on my face, in my hair it's... I don't even have the words but I just know I could stay outside forever." He's watching me so intently that I feel a bit nervous, what if I tripped and embarrassed myself right here?
"Besides I just hate it in here, it's ugly." He chuckles, "you're complaining about the way it looks?" I shrug, "it's gross, dim and it's dreary as hell. The cells are small too, I don't like confided spaces much." His face straightens and I'm afraid for what's about to follow. Surprisingly he only nods in understanding at me.
