We all end up gathering in the courtyard since Rick wants to talk to us all. I assume that I'm the last one to arrive since Rick gets ready to talk as soon as I settle down on the bench. I did notice the absence of Daryl, Merle and Michonne so I wondered if this had something to do with them.
"When I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal." Rick starts off, all of us listening to him intently. "He said...he said he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne." I think my mouth physically drops at the information. Did Rick say yes to this deal? Is that why I hadn't seen Michonne for most of the day?
"And I was gonna do that... to keep us safe. I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfill the deal and Daryl went to stop him and I don't know
if it's too late."
"I was wrong not to tell you. And I'm sorry." So much had gone on since we'd arrived at the prison. Rick had been losing his mind slowly but I'd been so preoccupied with my own problems I hadn't been paying attention.
"What I said last year, that first night after the farm... it can't be like that. It can't. What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are, it's not my call. It can't be. I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we are the greater good. We're the reason we're still here, not me. This is life and death."
"How you live...how you die... it isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go. We choose to stay. We stick together. We vote. We can stay and we can fight or we can go."
I knew it was only a matter of time till Rick decided this. I knew the pressure was getting to him and I'm glad he'd let it go before it cracked him in a way that he couldn't come back from.
We then disperse and decide to vote when Daryl brings Merle and Michonne back. Everyone splits but I stay behind, sat down. Rick turns to me, waiting for me to say something. When I don't he walks over and sits beside me.
"Wanna talk about it?" I ask him seeing how he still looked very troubled, "what if Daryl doesn't make it to them in time?" I bite my thumb for a moment but then shrug. "Nothing you can do about it now, it'll help to stop obsessing over it. I have faith she'll be back but if she doesn't come back you can't blame yourself for that. Can't let it weigh you down." It's not as easy as I'm saying obviously but maybe he'd benefit by hearing someone say it to him.
"I know you've been struggling and I'm sorry for not being there for you." He shakes his head at me, "it ain't your job to look after me." I shrug again, "maybe not but you've been looking out for everyone, someone has to look out for you too." He sends me a soft smile and throws his arm around my shoulder. "I haven't been there for you either, you've been struggling too." Leaning my head on his shoulder I nod. "Yeah but I isolated myself, I probably would've pushed you away anyways. Besides you weren't really in the right state to come check on me."
"You feeling better now?" He asks, I take a moment to think about it. "I think so yeah, you?" He doesn't say anything for a minute. "I've been seeing Lori." I sit up straighter at that, "are you seeing her now?" I have no idea to help hallucinations. "No, she comes and goes."
"The more you stress and worry?" He nods and I take his hand in mine. "After all this is over, you're gonna get to rest. Hopefully no longer being our leader gives you some peace, you deserve it." He smiles thankfully at me and squeezes my hand before just pulling me in for a hug. "It's like you always know what I need to hear. I'm so thankful we found you."
"Me too."
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