𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩 𝟗

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"Dear, I have selected a few dresses that I thought you'd like

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"Dear, I have selected a few dresses that I thought you'd like." My mother says, with a flourish of her hand as she presents a range of wedding dresses in front of me.

I stood in front of the options, staring blankly at them hanging on display. It was a collection of designer names - Vivienne Westwood, Givenchy, Valentino - and as much as I love designer, I can't bring myself to care enough. this isn't exactly a day that I'm looking forward to, it's not 'my big day', it's more so my father's if anything.

I took a deep breath, already overwhelmed with the other things my mother has interrupted me about. She's spent all day trying to organise and finalise the wedding, while I've been trying to finish my packing. I don't know why I'm so determined to get it done, but I know that it's better than thinking about the wedding, and overthinking it too much. I just want it over with.

I sigh, scanning my eyes over the choices. I still want to try for her, even if this isn't important to me, and despite who I'm marrying, I know how much this means to my mother. she's always dreamed of the day I'd get married.

Suddenly my eyes take a glimpse of a dress. It's undeniably gorgeous, I couldn't even hate it if I wanted to. I pick it up off the rack, and hold it out to her with a small smile. "Oh, my favourite!" she claps excitedly, her enthusiasm suddenly makes me even happier with the choice.

She held out the dress back to me, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Go on, try it on," she urged, her voice filled with anticipation. I hesitated for a moment, but her enthusiasm was infectious. I gave her a nod and she quietly left the room. I let out a deep sigh as I unzipped the clear plastic bag that held the dress. My fingers fumbled with the zipper, but I finally managed to open it and pull it out.

After slipping myself into the dress, I looked in the mirror. The dress hugged my curves in all the right places, and the colour brought out the warmth in my skin. "Wow," I breathed out, feeling a slight smile spread across my face.

It's a low-cut v-neck, with smooth and beautiful Mikado fabric and a tailored bodice that cinched tightly around my waist. I turn to have a look at the back, a low corset style with a big bow that flowed down into the train, decorated with beaded floral lace details.

I'm staring into the mirror, absolutely in love with this dress. when suddenly reality hits me and my heart sinks, it felt wrong. I've only ever been excited to marry Luka, I've always thought about the day I would but I'm not marrying him. This dress is going to a waste, It isn't real love, it's not even a real wedding.

I begin to feel flustered and hot in the dress, as if I couldn't breathe. I try to fix myself, and get it off when suddenly my mother enters the room again, "Oh dear, you look beautiful." she's smiling widely, wrinkles showing in the corner of her eyes.

She began to fix the back of the dress, I couldn't help but stare at her reflection in the mirror. As I looked at her, she met my eyes and seemed to decipher my thoughts in an instant. Her bright smile faded away, replaced by a look of guilt that she wore all too often lately. when suddenly a single tear escaped my eye and trickled down my cheek.

Without hesitation, she drew near and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a warm hug. "I'm sorry, Viv," she whispered.

With a deep breath, I managed to situate myself and take a step back, my hand reaching up to wipe away the tears that had run down my cheek. I take another look into the mirror before nodding, "this'll do." my mother nods and helps unzip the dress before walking out again. I slip out of the dress as fast as I could before changing back into my regular outfit.

As I'm leaving the room, the doorbell suddenly echoes throughout the whole house. I head down the stairs and towards the front door, swinging it open to find Ryder standing on the other side.

He looked effortlessly good, while I, on the other hand, had thrown on an oversized shirt from the piles of clothes in my messy room. My hair was a mess, and my eyes were probably red from the crying and lack of sleep I've had.

"Um, I'm here to see your father." he clears his throat, as his eyes travel down my legs and back up to my face. I frown, suddenly becoming aware of my bare legs. quickly stepping aside, I allow him to come inside. "Oh, he's probably in his office." I say, motioning up the stairs in the direction of his office.

He turns on his foot, his eyes scanning me once more before giving me a nod in response and heading up the stairs. I watch as he reaches the top, opens the door and disappears from my view before I head up the stairs myself.

I eventually enter my room again, to find it the same as I left it. I've made more progress than last time, and I should be done by tomorrow if I don't have any more distractions. I let out an exhausted sigh as I look around the room, instead of continuing to pack, I head towards my bathroom, in desperate need of a hot shower.

As I stepped into the bathroom, I flicked the switch on and the fluorescent light flickered to life. I began to undress, feeling the cool air on my skin as I slipped out of my clothes. With a deep breath, I stepped into the shower, letting the warm water flow over me. The steam began to rise, surrounding me in an envelope of fog as I closed my eyes and let myself be indulged by the feeling.

I release my breath, though it comes out shaky and trembled. my back suddenly touches the cold tiles on the wall as I rest my head back, tears slowly falling from my eyes. I haven't sat down at all, or even had a chance to think about tomorrow. I've been ignoring it for weeks, assuming if I just run myself off my feet, I wouldn't have to think about it and get emotional but it's all caught up to me now.

I haven't even heard from Luka since I last saw him, but I'll be seeing him tomorrow, which is the only thing that is keeping me together. I don't think I'd be able to do it without him there. I sniffle, trying to shake the emotions away before splashing my face with water.

I managed to finish my shower without any more tears. I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel and dried off, taking my time to make sure I was completely dry. I then slipped into a pair of silk pyjamas, feeling the soft fabric against my skin before climbing into bed and pulling the covers up to my chin, feeling the weight of these past few weeks weighing heavily on me.

Lying on my bed, I stare up at the blank expanse of my ceiling, lost in thought. The weight of the impending changes bears down on me, and I can't help but wonder how everything will be different as my eyes grow heavy, and I drift off to sleep.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

My phone rings beside my head, suddenly waking me up from my sleep. My fingers fumbled around until they finally found my phone. The ringing stopped as soon as I picked it up, leaving me confusion and disorientation. With a groan, I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes.

The digital clock on my bedside table glowed with an ominous red light, displaying the time, 3:23 am. I frowned in annoyance before Luka's name suddenly lights up on my phone again. I answer it, bringing it to my ear, "Luka?" I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper. The room was dimly lit, and my eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness. I rubbed them with the back of my hand, trying to shake off the sleep that still clung to me.

"Don't marry him Viv." his voice comes through slightly muffled on the other end, "What?" I respond, genuinely confused and wondering if i'm hearing him properly. "Don't marry him." he repeats, now I'm suddenly feeling more awake than I was a second ago, after finally processing what he's saying, a knot begins form in my stomach, his drunken, hurt words stabbing me directly in the heart. "Luka—"

The wedding is today, I can't possibly get out of it now. There's nothing i can do to about this. "Please." he pleads, which only makes things harder. My chest tightens with a sharp pain, hearing his low hurt voice. "Luka, I can't."

My heart sinks as I hear a muffled sob on the other end of the phone. "Okay." he manages to choke out before abruptly ending the call, leaving me alone in my dimly lit room with a heavy heart.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
AN/word count - 1586

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