𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩 𝟑𝟒

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As I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was that I was lying in Ryder's bed, just like every other morning

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As I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was that I was lying in Ryder's bed, just like every other morning. However, this time, something was different. The bed was empty, and there was no sign of Ryder anywhere. All that remained was the faint scent of his cologne, which only made me miss him.

I roll over, my eyes slowly adjusting to the morning light. With a deep breath, I rose from the comfort of his bed, making my way down the hallway, and into the kitchen. A cold breeze hitting my bare legs as I make it further into the living room.

I find him standing on the balcony, a cigarette to his lips, and his phone pressed to his ear.

I wrap my arms around my waist, as if it'll warm me up from the early morning air. I'm only wearing one of Ryder's oversized shirts that I had pulled on last night before bed. He never seems to mind.

But they're always baggy, swallowing my frame, hanging loosely from my shoulders that seem to hug his biceps perfectly, the rest draping down to just above my knees.

I quietly turn around, not wanting to disturb his phone call, before heading towards the kitchen for coffee. Ryder's already made some, my mug sitting on the counter beside his.

I pour some into the mug before wrapping my hands around it, bringing it to my lips when suddenly, two big arms wrap around my waist, immediately comforting me.

I've come to realise that my body can recognise him by touch alone, by scent; I would know him blind, by the way he breathes, by the rhythm of his heart beating in his chest. My body reacts differently to him than to anyone else. My brain has mended, memorised every inch of him. It's a connection that went beyond words, beyond sight, beyond anything I've ever experienced before.

I thought I knew what love was. True, real love. But maybe Luka was right, maybe it was just puppy love. What I have with Ryder is so different. It's real love, that runs so deep inside me that it hurts to think about him not by my side.

I realise that the word 'love' has a much deeper and more solid meaning. He's become my security, my foundation, and trust — and vice versa.

'Love' is seeing and accepting the whole package—the good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing drunk moments, the raw pain and heartache that life brings—and still loving each other.

Ryder's seen me at my lowest, and I've seen him, even when we didn't know each other all that well. We just knew. A part of me lives within Ryder, two halves making a whole. Ryder is my other half, making me feel whole.

I'm in real love now, for the first time, and it's way more guttural or something. It's in my bones. I think you know you're in real love when you feel that constant overwhelming urge to tell the person you're with that you love them for no reason.

Puppy love is easy, kisses and laughs. Luka was all I knew, he was all I had, it was easy for us. I don't think you know real love until you are faced with a major challenge. Then you see that love is hard. Really hard. But you fight for it and for the other person because you know it's worth it.

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