𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩 𝟑𝟏

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I definitely have been spending tons of time away from Luka

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I definitely have been spending tons of time away from Luka. The weight of guilt was heavy on my chest, gnawing at me relentlessly. It wasn't supposed to be like this, nothing was, and It's not fair on him.

He wasn't replying to my texts this morning, so while Ryder is out at work, I've decided to go visit him. He never usually minds when I show up unannounced.

I climb out of the backseat of Benny's car, before hurrying up the path to his front door. I push my key into the hole, before turning and pushing my way inside. The place is dark, which is strange — being midday.

I head up the dimly lit staircase, and reaching the top, my eyes fall upon tons of empty alcohol bottles, scattered across his living room. I frown, scanning the room for any sign of Luka. The place seems a mess, dark, and quiet.

I call out his name, both confusion and anger coursing through my body. Five years of sobriety, down the drain. Getting Luka sober was hard on the both of us, I stayed through his withdrawals, I was the one who copped everything in the midst of recovery.

Crashing thumps suddenly come from the end of the hallway, and then he appears, stumbling out of his bedroom. "Vivienne?" he replies in a somewhat low and slurred tone.

I can't see anything but his dark figure until he makes his way further towards me. He's a mess. Stumbling over his own feet, dark eye bags, messy hair and sloppy clothes. A state I've seen him in all too much before.

"What the fuck Luka?" My eyes roam over him and then over the room again. This is unbelievable. I step towards him, gently grabbing onto his arm and guiding him towards the lounge, he heavily stumbles along beside me. He reeks of alcohol.

I sit him down, and he lounges out, closing his eyes. "Have you been drinking again?" And while I know he has, it's right in front of me, I'm still hoping it's not actually true. I still want to hear him explain.

"Hm, maybe?" he slurs out with a chuckle beneath me. I scoff in response, "After years of hard work and sobriety—" I fold my arms across my chest, staring down at him. I don't know what to do in this situation, I don't want to be mad at him.

"You can't be mad at me, you've done worse lately." he suddenly snaps, sitting himself up on the couch properly. I don't reply, he's not wrong. I haven't been the best person lately, it's still hard for him.

"I'm sorry, Luka." I gently sit down next to him, but he only seems to get more mad at me. "You've apologised all too many times Vivienne, it's lost its meaning." his voice increasing as he talks.

"It was your idea to continue our relationship under these circumstances," That's also true, but he hasn't exactly been trying either, he hardly responds when I text, and he's been distant for weeks.
—which I know why now—

"Luka—" I reach out to his arm, trying to calm him down but he's quick to rip his arm away and stand up from the couch. "You're the one cheating on me Vivienne, putting most –all— your attention and effort into a fake relationship and not the real one you claim to want." he yells, throwing his arms in the air.

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