Freen&Becky (I need you more than I want to) S2

Reunion

FREEN'S POV

I arrived at Seoul and Becky directed me to the MI-DEUM BUILDING. she was waiting for me outside the building and I saw her from afar.

I was running to her when suddenly I was stopped by a little girl. She would be six or seven years old. She looked hungry and also very tattered and unkept.

"Can you help me with money?" the little girl asked.

"I haven't eaten since morning and I'm really hungry." She continued

Why would a little girl like this not be taken care of?

"Where is your mother?" I asked her and she told me that her mother was at home.

I didn't want to put too much thought to it as I gave her money. A lot of money and then I ran to Becky.

We hugged each other as soon as I got to her. Lifting her up from the ground. Even though I was in excruciating pain from my accident.

"I've missed you Becky. I've really really miss you. How have you been? how are you doing? What are you even doing here?  And why did you shut everybody out?" I asked being all excited and curious at the same time

"Okay Freeny, I'll answer all of your questions but first, let's go inside okay?

I'm very sure you're tired. You travelled from Thailand down to Korea so you need to rest." Becky said deviating from my questions

She happily held onto my hand as we went inside.

Although we haven't talked about the things that went on with us back in Thailand, we seem to be very happy to have finally found each other again.

I was tired and so I freshened up in Becky's apartment and she made food.

Actually she ordered for food. It was better that food was ordered than that food was cooked by Becky.

I'm the one who always cooked for her and not the other way around because she's my baby.

Becky sat down next to me watching me while I ate and when I was done, she took the plates away and came back sitting down beside me.

She held onto my hand and then started talking

"Freeny I want to tell you everything that has happened in the past.

"No Becky, you don't have to say anything.

"Please Freeny I want you to know everything and I want to tell you everything that I couldn't tell you and everything that I should have told you but never told you. Please Freeny just allow me to tell you everything please."  Becky insisted

"Okay Becky I'll listen. Which is what I should have done a long time ago." I said blaming everything on myself

"But why would you have listened, when I wasn't even talking?  But  don't worry, all that will change because right now I want to tell you everything." She said sounding a bit scared.

And then she continued after gathering courage.

"First of all, let me start by telling you that I love you Freeny. I have always loved you and would ever love you.

You're the only person that makes me happy. You're the only person that makes my heart skip a bit. The person that makes my temperature rise.

When you look at me I feel like the proudest person in the world. I feel like I won the grammys because I've got the most wonderful girl in the entire world.

Because she who is the most caring, the most sensitive and the most beautiful in the entire world was my girlfriend.

When you asked "US" to be a secret, I thought you were ashamed of me or that you didn't want me but I guess you saw everything that would happen if we rushed into telling everyone about our relationship.

But thinking like the baby that I am, I pressured you and you had to tell everyone that we were girlfriends and that backfired really bad.

You gave up the person most important to you just to be with me but I was too selfish to reciprocate those actions.

The moment my family asked me to leave you, I left you for my own selfish gains. Becky stopped talking and took in a very deep breath

What are those selfish gains. Becky you keep saying that some selfish gains led to our breakup but you don't say Those selfish gains out loud. What exactly happened Becky" I asked

" When I got home, I was thinking that my family would listen to me and let us be together but they had already planned their attack on me.

I had already lost the battle before I stepped into the house.

There are some things that you do as a child that your parents scold you and correct you on, so that you don't make those mistakes again.

Some of those mistakes could be really really big and bad that they could tarnish your reputation as a celebrity and even land you in prison.

My mom and brother had those secrets about me with them.  And they threatened me that they were going to tell the public all about it.

Most of these secrets were minor probably just littering, underage drinking or vandalizing of people's property.

But others were worse than that.

Growing up, I use to hurt myself.  I'd use sharp objects to cut myself and sometimes, I'd burnt myself in places that people won't see.

This secret was known to my family and they threatened to tell the public about it.

They threatened to tell the public about my anxiety and self-harm. I developed this harmful behaviour in middle school. 

Because kids from school laughed at me and treated me differently just because I was half British and half Thai.

They mocked me and all I could do was hate myself and hurt yourself because I was an outcast.

I punish myself because I felt like I needed to be punished for not fitting in. For not being up to everybody's standards.

Although I was loved by so me students.

But the few that liked me only liked me because I wasn't fat. This made me  eat less than normal to maintain my body size. And by so doing,  I developed anorexia, an eating disorder."

To be continued...

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