Fall Apart

Chapter 35

We went into the funeral and sat down, my eulogy was first and my hands were shaking while holding the paper as I stepped up to the podium. The funeral director had left a glass of water and a box of tissues up there for me so I took a sip of the water and started.

"We are gathered here today in the memory of my mother, Katy Hart, so that together we may acknowledge and share both our joy in the gift that her life was to us, and the pain that her passing brings. In sharing the joy and pain together today, we may lessen the pain and remember more clearly the joy," I took a deep breath, then I saw my birth father and choked a little so I had some more water before continuing, "Katy was only 51 when she passed away unexpectedly this Sunday, at 3:40 pm. It's hard to say goodbye. I wish that she had more time, and perhaps that during the time she had we had spent more of it together. I wish that so much of her life had not been lost to her illness, that things could have been different for her, and for us. While we know that she is at peace and her struggles are at an end, there is pain and sadness. But even though she is gone, she has left the legacy of her love and perseverance. The ways she touched our lives will remain, and I ask you to keep those memories alive by sharing them with me and one another. The most important thing in Mom's life was her family, and she took great pride in me and my sister as her children. Mothers are special people. It takes patience and perseverance and a love for living things to have a family and stay with them. Parenting can be tedious and hard work, but there is something that mothers know and experience that others sometimes do not. There is a beauty and satisfaction in seeing your children grow up and become beautiful people. There is a peacefulness that can come over us as we care for and nurture our children. In nurturing living things to bring beauty and peace to the world, mothers make a difference in the world and make their lives and the lives of their children richer and fuller. I think that for Mom, maybe bringing up a family was a way to be the careful nurturing person that she didn't get the chance to be in the outside world. Mom is survived by my sister and I, as well as other relatives and friends. This family, and her role of mother, sister, and aunt, was the most important thing to Mom. This is where she drew her strength and left her legacy. Being with her family is what Katy enjoyed most of all. Her life had many obstacles, and she has struggled almost 15 years as a single mother. Yet through it all, her love and caring for her family remained her focus, and in so many, many ways, she was able to show that love to us. This perseverance through adversity is a powerful lesson for us, and I believe it is her legacy. What a wonderful lesson she gave us. Keep your priorities straight. Keep that which is most important in focus. Love and care for your family. Let them know in all the ways you can show them that you love them. Don't let adversities or setbacks or any distractions of the world keep you from this most important aspect of life. How many people in the world have it so much easier than my mom did. How many never had to face half the troubles she faced, and yet lose sight so easily of what is truly important. Many of us get distracted by insignificant things in life, many of us brood and focus on our little problems, and forget what is most important. But through everything mom went through, she managed to keep her priorities straight. What can be more important than loving and showing love for your family? How can some of us that are blessed with so much forget to be thankful to God, while somehow Mom kept her faith through all her trials. This is a wonderful legacy. This is a wonderful example to follow. Keep focused on what is truly important, not only when your life is easy, but when it is difficult too. Knowing how much her family meant to her, I think that it was such a blessing that just before she passed away, Mom wrote a lovely letter for both my sister and I. The love she has shown to all of us will live on and be with us even now that she has gone to be with God. We'll close today with the 23rd psalm 'the Lord is my shepherd', but before we do, on behalf of myself and my sister, I'd like to thank you all for coming here today.

The Twenty-Third Psalm

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He maketh me lie down in green pastures: