malicious | max verstappen

twenty five.

ELYSE's POV

Denial.

They say there are 5 stages of grief. The first one being, denial. Though I think my brain just skipped that part. I've been in denial for months now, yet nothing could've prepared me for the impact of the real deal.

I wasn't in denial, I was in torment.

I haven't spoken a word. Not a single word to single being. I haven't been able to. I only sat in silence, staring at the ground. It was like my body restricted me from feeling or doing anything. It was weird, though. How I could feel everything and nothing in the same time.

FLASHBACK

"You know the hospital gifted me a bunch of flowers when you were on the podium?" She shared with me and I laughed in disbelief.

"Really?"

"Yeah! The races were usually at pretty late times and a lot of nurses and doctors would come into my room and watch the race with me. They all cheered you on." She continued, "I'm hoping they continue cheering you on when you win the championship."

I matched her smile, "Do you really think I'll be able to win it this year?"

"I know you can." Her smile started to fade, "Win it for me, yeah?"

She suddenly started coughing and was struggling to breathe. I tried to pat on her back, which managed to calm her down. Her cough was hoarse, as if she had been smoking cigarettes since day one, which I know isn't true since she hasn't smoked a day in life, but still, it was crazy seeing how much a disease could affect a person.

Especially my person.

"I love you, Lyly. Always remember that." Her voice was weaker than before. Her shaky hands reached out to mine and I interlocked my hand with hers.

"I love you more, Mama. Why are you talking like this?" I felt her weakly squeeze my hand twice.

"Te amo, mi hermosa angel." She closed her eyes before saying, "Nos vemos en el otro lado." (I love you, my beautiful angel. See you on the other side.)

Before I could process what she said, the heart monitor shifted from continuous beeps to one long beep, a single line appearing instead of many wavelengths.

I screamed.

Her hand's grip loosened and I was holding on as if that was going to change what was truly going on. I wished I had superpowers, to bring her back. Get her heart beating again. This wasn't the end, it couldn't be.

Nurses flooded the room, yelling things I didn't understand. I was bawling, the nurses separated me from my mom while they worked on her. I was about to fall to my knees when someone caught me, I didn't look who it was, I simply cried and went ballistic.

This couldn't be happening. It can't.

I kept shaking my head as if this was some nightmare I'll wake up from and I'll move on.

The doctor speaking confirmed my fears and I was sure it wasn't just a 'bad dream' like I was telling myself, "Time of death, 18:05."

END OF FLASHBACK

Many drivers had flown here as soon as they heard the news. I didn't have the energy to deal with everything and everyone. I was still in shock.

People tried talking to me, but not a single muscle moved. It was like I was stuck in time. Replaying the moment over and over in my head. I couldn't get rid of it. I felt her die. I could feel how her heartbeat deteriorated. I could feel her stop breathing. It was as if I was dying with her. But instead, I was still stuck here. Alone, without her.