I once was a Duchess

Page 32

                                                       "I'll share your burdens with you."

                     My eyes flutter open, As the swaying breeze kisses my cheek. And I am laid comfortably in a small cabin.
~Where am I?~ I thought to myself. Lifting the covers and blankets up off of my body, peeling them away. I press my feet onto the creaky wooden panels. As Atticus lays on the couch by the fire. And Elijah lays on the floor with a pillow accompanied by his head.
Gerard and Theresa lay side by side with their backs facing each other. As everyone is spread out in this small room. But something felt off about here, It seemed familiar all too familiar.

I made my way towards the door, Creaking it open and making my way outside. As crickets chirp and the moon hangs high in the sky. With stars glistening in the far distance.
I walk over to the slight edge, hanging my feet off of it. I take a deep breath letting everything settle down as my eyes start to awaken.

A twig snaps from behind me causing me to be alert. As my moist breath melts into the cold air "Who's there." I asked
All to see Elijah slowly walking towards me with his cloak resting in his arms.
"What are you doing up princess?" he says yawning, placing his cloak over me.
"What are you doing up, sleepy head?" I say smiling softly at him

I don't know why but Elijah seems more beautiful at night. Underneath the moon light that kisses his mikly skin and his long eyelashes that enhance those beautiful eyes of his. But with this quiet moment my body relaxed.
"The moon's beautiful isn't it?" I whispered out loud looking up to it
"It is." He says softly as a breeze kisses the cold air.

"Is something troubling you?" He asks glancing at me
"Why? does it appear that way?" I smile weakly
"Yes it does, Your smile has started to fade and you look burden with something on your mind."
"That's because something does weigh on it."
"I am here to listen." He says leaning back
"Oh my days! Elijah's being nice?" I say gasping obnoxiously }
"I'd take the chance, Not many times I offer my help." He says sarcastically
"And what do I owe the honor?" I say in an accent like the nobles
" There is a damsel in distress." He says gazing at me.
"That same line you told me when I first met you." I say avoiding his gaze smirking
"And it works on you each time."

I punch him softly, As my smile quickly fades. Melting off of my lips.
"What burdens you Ralftilia? Talk to me." He says with softened eyes
"I just-" I stop sighing. As he has his full attention on me.

"Since I was born many things have been set for me. I was meant to marry the Duke, Become the Duchess, And take over the affairs of Wellz. Everything was planned out for me I had one simple task. Protect Wellz for the greater good. But I failed my people with all that night who came to celebrate me and paid the price with their lives. Now another situation lies ahead, And if I fail I will never forgive myself."
"Why do you hold onto this guilt Ralftilia?"
"Because I'm afraid that if I forget, Those who lost their lives will fade. I'm afraid I'll forget what's at stake. I'm afraid I'll lose everything again. I don't want to grow comfortably and have everything taken from me."
"Ralftilia look at me." Elijah says reaching for my hand.
" Ralftilia you grieve for the future you know nothing of. You grieve and deprive your chances of success low, because of your fears. You let those same things haunt you because you can't only forgive yourself but you can't stop being afraid. You need to stop blaming yourself for that night. The actions of that person lays on them and the sins they've done weighs on their scale not yours. You grieve for what hasn't come and that is what holds you back from moving forward. Forgive yourself Ralftilia, Non of what has happened is your fault don't carry someone else's faults with you."

He gazes deep within my eyes, As his kind words graze my ears and kiss my heart. I felt more at peace hearing those words that it wasn't my fault after years of carrying heavy weights.
"But how will my people believe me? What if I fail again?" I said with tears welling in my eyes.
"The fact that you grieve that you will fail and the fact you are scared to disappoint your people only proves you are a good leader. And that the faults never rested on your shoulders to begin with. You've been trying all you could, Helping all those you encounter. Just like you stayed near that mother in heartbreak and agony one of your people had to pay the price for someone else's actions. Forgive yourself Ralftilia its what you deserve."

Tears stream down my face, Letting go each small piece of that night go. Refusing to let a nightmare torment trying my best to move on. Secretly tucking it away and refusing to feel the deep emotions I tried to hold in for so long.
"When I found you, Tears were still streaming from out of your eyes Ralftilia. Even as you laid unconscious you kept whispering about your people worrying about them. In the mists of your body giving up you couldn't care less about your own well being. You haven't cried since that night have you?" He asks me softly.

I tried to keep up a brave face but all failed for as soon as he looked at me and asked me that one question the wall I kept tightly sealed faltered at his words and soon as I gaze into his eyes I nod no with tears marching down my cheeks
Uncontrollable tears staining my cheeks and dampening my eyelashes. Small wails escape my eyes as all the pent up emotions I felt bust open with the lump in my throat only growing larger.
I nodded my head no, As my lips frowned and tears kept treading down. Elijah suddenly pulls me into his arms. Holding me softly placing his warm hand on the back of my head. Delicately holding me within his arms. Sharing my burden with me. I rest my head on his shoulder trying to muffle my cries.
That was the first time I had shown any emotion to anyone. The first time I felt safe to. And the first time a man had ever seen the vulnerable place I held a thick veil over. Elijah soothes me with consoling words. Caressing my hair and holding me gently in his arms. As I grasp his shirt and tug at his body.

"It's okay Ralftilia, You don't have to wear your burdens alone. You won't have to carry the weight with you any longer. I'll carry them with you."

He soothes me within the loving air of the night. With the moon kissing this special moment. And the cold air not touching us by each other's warmth. In his arms is what I yearned for years. The comfort of someone actually being there and hearing my story no one ever asked me to tell. He saw me that night that true messed up me. Wavering in her fears wallowing in the depths of the night. He knows me.
"I know you."
I don't know when it began but I don't think this feeling I have for him is just a little crush.