Icarus | Z.M.

65 | Garden

(1/2 of the double update!!)

Victoria Tomlinson

After spending so long believing that Zayn was some mysterious and intimidating guy, I came to the conclusion that he wasn't at all. Mysterious in the sense that I didn't know too many personal things about him, besides the awful things he told me about his family, but he didn't need to share those things with me for me to know him. In reality, he just needed time. He needed time to feel comfortable around me and for me to feel comfortable around him before he let his guard down, and his guard was down fully. He relaxed around me, didn't care at all when he admitted his feelings or admitted things to me, what he wanted, whether it was a hug, a kiss, or for us to just lay together in silence.

He just had less of a social battery than I did. He liked to have some time to himself, or some time where we didn't speak but just simply existed together. I was beginning to notice it more, when we would be doing something and I could tell he was tired, I was getting good at picking up on when he just needed a moment to recharge. I really really liked spending time with him. Even when he needed those silent moments. Where we would exist together, but do our own things, whether it was reading, mindlessly scrolling on our phones, not muttering a word to each other, they were still some of my favourite moments.

There was nothing I dreaded more than having to go home.

Staying with Zayn was my favourite thing. I liked spending time with him, where we could just be comfortable around each other, where we didn't have to hide from anyone. I liked falling asleep next to him and I was becoming obsessed with waking up beside him, it was always the best part of my day. I loved how his voice sounded, the way he would be so warm and so soft, he'd always pull me in closer to him even if I was already laying practically on top of him.

But I had to come home.

I had to face reality eventually.

Since I was hurt by my dad a couple of weeks ago, I'd stayed with Zayn more than I'd been home. I came home for a few days per week and would pretend to be at Hazels every other night. While usually they didn't like me staying over at hazels and I'd typically have to sneak there, since they hated me more than usual and were actively ignoring me, they didn't try to stop me from going. As long as I had my bodyguard, I was safe. And I was.

I had my bodyguard and I was safe, they just didn't know it was his bed I was in every night.

"I haven't seen my mother since everyone found out about the video." I nervously murmured, tracing my fingers over the tattoos on the back of his hand.

Zayn's hand was on my thigh, and he gave me a reassuring squeeze. We were parked down at the bottom of my house, so we would have to walk up. It meant we could spend time together in the car without having to worry about anyone seeing us.

"But you've been home since then, right?" He asked me, flipping his hand upside down so that he could intertwine our fingers together.

"She's been ignoring me." I told him. I'd been home a couple of times, but never stayed for long. I hated being at home, and if they didn't notice I was gone, then I would take advantage of that. "I could literally stand and wave in her face and she would pretend I wasn't there."

"Seriously?" Zayn just shook his head, rolling his eyes with a huff. "For fucks sake."

"She did it all the time to me as a kid." I shrugged, forgetting it was weird for other people to hear some of the shit my parents did. I forgot it wasn't normal.

"What? ignored you?" he dropped his brows, not seeming to believe me, not to that extent at least.

"Yeah." I nodded. "If I did something wrong when I was younger... like said no, or misbehaved, if I was too loud, all that shit—"