Spinnin

9

What?

What?

I rubbed my arms and nodded looking up at the sky and sighed feeling weird about saying it aloud even though I know I deeply care for him.

It's not like I don't want to say it but I feel like I need to be pushed to admit it like there has to be something that happens so not only that I'm saying but I'm showing it too so he knows my love for him is true. I'm a firm believer that you can say whatever you want but I still need to see it .

I see what you're saying but you know you've already proved it to him many times I'm sure .

Maybe then again maybe not

When you do come to say it you'll know if you're ready or not and even if you aren't you have time, things like this shouldn't be rushed but it's very obvious that you care about him a lot in a loving way

We talked about it and he wants to say it too but we don't know, we are scared that things will change you know. Right now we are comfortable with each other in every which way but when we say that I feel like we gon start putting a timer on things and other people will start putting a timer on us like you know when most people say they love you to a person everyone unknowingly starts waiting on a ring it can be a promise ring or you know an engagement ring and I'm not ready for that it's still a lot of things I still want to do or have like my independence for not like sexual things or other relationship things but like my own home or trying to build up a business or something. I don't want to share something I'm just now getting to learn about but I also don't want to lose him if he's ready and I'm not.

I let out a tear sniffling as Cleo came to my side and rubbed my back letting me lay into her chest as Lasia thinks while looking up in the sky as the sun switched out for the moon.

It's okay

Your worried about the time and the age difference between y'all

Yea a little bit but like you know he's a very planned out person and I'm not I didn't even get my driver's license until I was 18 and I finished up my driver's Ed class in 11th grade I was scared..that's show's how much my fear controls me sometimes but ion want it to ruin a good thing with him. He makes me feel so good all over and he takes really good notice of my feelings if I lose him I feel like imma lose the love of my life.

Your feelings are valid but you know this is your fear talking once again because I know that you know that he loves you in his heart. Sometimes words mean nothing to those who already know what's going on.

Maybe he doesn't see life without you either especially since you said y'all have talked about this before and y'all was okay with it because if he or you didn't like that y'all would have been forcing y'all selves apart to separate it's clear y'all know what and who y'all want.

I feel Cleo rub my hair to the back of my head and I sigh while wiping my face.

Y'all are right I'm just so used to feeling my feelings so deeply and letting it wreck me but he's so good at controlling his and giving them their time while I let my own run wild.

The only thing different between y'all two is the experience other than that I'm looking at the same dime..y'all compliment and complete each other so well and you can tell he makes you happy just as you do him.

It's obvious y'all love each other it's just soft spoken right now instead of full blown

Y'all are so sweet thank you for this I've never experienced this before

Same it's nice

Mhm especially since we get to do shit like this

I've never heard you cuss before I feel like a door just opened