Captured (A Modern Medusa Story)

CHAPTER 32: AVERISTA♥️

Mama had a whole pamphlet of printed notes and books about braille.
Who even knew she had them all this time, or more important, where the hell she got them? Or even most important, when she got them? They looked a bit old, or maybe it was just the dust? God – The number of secrets this woman kept from me.

Mama said braille was a smooth flow. But the more she kept on explaining, the bigger the amount of details kept getting. It was half past midnight already, and we were still trying to clear up Grade 1 braille.  She suggested getting on Grade 2 was much more preferable since it was more – proficient? or whatsoever.

When the clock struck 1am, I suggested she should retreat and leave me to it. She declined, like I initially believed she would, saying she needed to get me to the bottom of it. And I smiled, liking the idea even though I knew she would wake up deflated.

"Do you remember what these two dots mean?"

I stared at a braille cell with the first two dots that sat next to each other marked in blue. A one four cell.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"It's a –"

"C, right?" I glanced at her for confirmation.

Mama smiled. "Of course."

"And the next one?"

"Um –" I scrunched my face, trying to remember but failing. Mama flipped a page of her braille book and let me have a sneak peek. "Oh, it's an L."

I sure needed to memorize this shit.

"Excellent." She grinned. "Remember, the more you practice, the better you're going to get. And like everything else, it takes time. Mind you, this isn't a language. It's just a code in which many languages may be written and read, okay?"

"Okay. But I'm dying to feel my hands on that paper and try to read by myself," I admitted. "Or even go out and read public braille signs or something."

"I know, right? But you have to cram all these symbols before we get deeper into the reading part. Plus, remember to use light finger touch and zero pressure when you're at it. It's also a sign of a good braille reader."

Mama pulled out a set of files with braille on them.

"Want me to read you something for a bit?" She glanced at me.

"Of course," I agreed on impulse. "I'd love that."

She gave me a small smile before closing her eyes and feeling the top sheet with her hands.

I watched as she circled her palms around its surface before settling her fingers expertly over it.

"My name is Helene. And I am two things," she read slowly. "A scientist, and a mother. Though I'm not sure which one should come first and which one second. But at heart, I'm just a lover of science."

Mama looked less intimidating with her eyes closed. And as I leaned over my hand with my elbow rested on the wooden surface of the kitchen table, I traced the resemblance between our faces for the first time. For a minute, I wondered if Phoebe thought of me whenever she looked at her nanny.

"A man, who is now my husband, once told me that if you want to pursue something successfully, then jump in with both feet." She continued to read. "And maybe he was right. And maybe that's why I failed at my career. Because I jumped in with one foot. I threw that piece of my heart that was passionate about science at it and gave the rest to my daughter because I loved her. I loved her more than science. More than my passion. More than my husband and my comrades.

And I guess my daughter was the reason I fell out of love from everything else. Because now, as I write this, I know she's the only reason behind my decisions. The reason I'm brailling this down instead of writing it with pen and paper like a normal person.