Captured (A Modern Medusa Story)

CHAPTER 43: PHOEBE💙

If Averista was a wildflower, then I was the fake plastic version of a flower.

I was the one that almost looked real if you caught a glimpse of me when the wind blew through my hair, swaying it in an almost natural way. And my strands felt real on the fingers. An ordinary flower, wasn't I? Until you realize nobody actually waters me and I only get wiped down from time to time. A clown.

That was what I had turned into every time Averista left.

As much as I wanted her to stick around, I'd rather be stuck in this damn lab all alone. The scent of wildflowers would have to suffice. It felt better to suffer by myself without anybody's presence. Wasn't that how it would end up, anyway? Alone. Because even if I interacted with the entire universe during the day, I'll have to close my eyes to fall asleep at night and be alone. In fact, darkness was my sanctuary ever since I became blind.

Loneliness was inevitable. And that's what I had thought about when I laid my body down on the cold floor of my father's laboratory. All vipers on release, dancing their lengths in slow motion all over my body. My only company, as I flicked on and off the trigger of the gun in my hand. I found comfort in this position. Tangled amidst creatures I called my pets, and a pistol Papa had recently gifted me for a very specific purpose.

I knew how to shoot. But did he want me to? Did I want to?

I released a heavy breath and slowly sat up. My legs had turned numb, reminding that I had been lying there for too long. I felt the hem of my silver minidress slide up higher as I struggled to stand up on my high-heeled feet.

I wanted to run out of the room, out of the fucking mansion, and all the way into the gorgon's arms. Where, like all other places, I could be eaten alive. The only difference with her was that she never would. To her, all of me was paradise. While I was out here chasing after my father's validation, Averista believed in me. She had built so much hope in me to the point that I had failed to force myself to believe they were false. Like how Papa taught me to.

I had to make a choice. We both couldn't be the same thing if our destinies stood at opposite ends. I had to decide. I had to do this. I had to listen to Papa. I needed to stop thinking about Averista's lips and remind myself of how bad I craved to gain a sense of sight. I had to stop myself from getting too comfortable in this disabled skin.

"Fuck it." I clutched the gun harder when I thought of throwing the darn thing away.

With weak footsteps, I stepped forward. I halted before the altar of all evil—Pandora's box.

The snakes slithered their way back to my feet, circling themselves around my ankles.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, swallowing back all the stinging tears.

Something stabbed my chest at the thought of how much of a wasteland my tongue had turned into in front of Averista. I wanted to take back every single word I had ever told her and tell her to run for her life. Unfortunately, I couldn't do it.

Maybe I wasn't the beauty to her beast like how I initially figured out. I wanted to scream it the fuck out of my system, but again, how could I?

Why did I want those eyes so badly? It could be a chance to finally see the face of my lover, but also the end of me. Maybe that's what I wanted in the first place. To end myself.

I held the gun over my head, ignoring how much my fingers were shaking.

You can't be scared, Phoebe.

But I was terrified of myself at the moment. So, out of a disoriented mind and an intact caged-heart, I shot down at the slithering things. Once. Twice. Thrice. Until I felt them unmoving.

Then the tears came. The gun dropped.

I fell to my knees, crying like a child.

I needed a reminder of how good it was to sacrifice everything for the sake of love. As if there was any good out of it. I needed someone to hold the damn ammunition over my brains and shoot the evil out of me. Kill it out of my system and finally solve my dilemma.

I needed to remember what I truly wanted. I needed to forget the blissful burn of Averista's skin every time it touched mine. I needed to stop the need to travel back in time and relive the thrill of emotions that evoked in me whenever her gaze was on my body.

I needed to forget what it was like to feel alive. To feel loved by someone who could give you the world. I needed Averista to make me forget–one last time, why I mattered.

When everything came loose, I needed her to remind me.

I reached through the pocket of my lab coat and pulled out my phone hesitantly.

I wasn't even sure what I was supposed to be doing anymore. I wished for all of it to happen at a fleeting speed so I could get it over with without feeling a thing. I needed it all to pass by while I was numb. I needed her to stop haunting me when I hadn't even killed her yet.

I needed closure. I needed to kiss her. I needed to set myself free, as selfish as it was. I needed to grab a knife and rip my heart out of my sleeve. So I called her . . .

Averista picked up after a few seconds.

"Hey beautiful."

It wasn't until I heard her voice did it hit me how much of an animal she had turned me into. She had me crawling on my knees, and for a second, it scared me if she knew what she was doing.

"Wildflowers," I breathed. "Can you come over?"

"I'm at your door."