𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐅𝐋𝐘 ᵇᵘᵈᵈⁱᵉ

seventeen

same day

"so, is Julia gonna call us grandma and grandpa, or abuela and abuelo, or just our names," Helena asked while the kids put their homework stuff away, showered and got ready for bed. Buck helping them.

"whatever she feels comfortable with," Eddie smiled seeing Buck walk back into the living room with a cup in his hand. he sat on the couch, putting an arm around Eddie's shoulders keeping the cup in his other hand.

"Chris is using the bathroom, Julia is setting her stuffed animals up so we have a couple minutes," Buck smiled, kissing Eddie's head.

a couple of moments later, the kids came out of their bedrooms.

"daddy!" Julia smiled, jumping on Bucks lap, making him spill his drink all over his shirt.

"shit," Buck whispered. Eddie sat up out of his arms, pulling Julia on his lap.

"i'm sorry daddy," Julia whispered as tears entered her eyes.

"no, love, it's okay it was an accident," he smiled as he began to pull his long sleeve shirt off that he had put on after getting cold, revealing every self harm scar, attack scar, including his disgusting arm.

Helena and Ramon gasped loudly seeing the risen scar on his arm and all the marks on his body.

Bucks attention wasn't on that though. he walked to the laundry room to throw the shirt in the wash machine with some other dirty clothes.

he came back out with a wife beater in his hands and began to put it on wants he entered the living room.

Eddie's parents attention fell back on his scar, ignoring anything Eddie was still saying.

"mama, papi, no," Eddie scolded his parents quietly, drawing there attention away from Bucks arm.

Buck looked down at it, his cheeks flushing a bright red color. he quickly crossed his arms over his chest, siting down next to Eddie. he wrapped one arm around Eddie who was holding Julia.

Christopher was sitting on the floor playing with legos.

"so, Buck, Eddie tells us you actually used to hate him?" Ramon laughed, trying to break the awkward silence.

Buck awkwardly laughed, "yah, i was still figuring myself out and the feelings i felt for him the first day i met him scared me," he answered as Eddie entangled their fingers and kissed Bucks hand.

"i'm sorry, i can't do this, what happened to your arm?" Helena asked.

"mi amor, no," Ramon said.

Bucks stomach dropped completely out of his body, his skin turned pale, just at the thought of what was just asked.

"i- um- aheh- i-," and without any further words he got up and ran out of the room, his breath suddenly becoming heavy and his vision blurry.

"mama, why," Eddie whined but Buck could barely hear it.

he walked in the the bathroom and locked the door behind him. he couldn't breath, all his flash backs coming back.

his arm started to hurt, his leg aching. he could feel Johns fingers all over his body. the smell of smoke burned his nose, his throat got tighter, his body weaker.

"Evan, mi querido," Eddie softly knocked on the door, immediately causing the younger man to jump and flinch.

"Evan, i need you to unlock the door, right now," Eddie's voice was soft but firm.

Buck slowly unlocked the door and Eddie opened it just enough to slip in the door.

"baby, deep breaths. look at me, deep breaths," Eddie whispered softly, "you're panicking my love so i need you to just focus on my breaths," he said, putting his hands on Bucks cheeks, caressing them with his thumb.

Buck squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head.

"Evan, look at me now," Eddie demanded, "my eyes, my voice," Eddie whispered.

Bucks red, teary eyes opened at him, but his breathing slowed down. he grabbed Eddie's hands and brought them to his mouth, kissing them softly.

"see you're okay," Eddie smiled.

Buck shook his head and dropped to the floor, Eddie following.

"i'm disgusting, Eddie and you're parents see it now. i'm a slutty faggot and they know it. i know it, you know it. you're better off with out me," Buck whispered.

"Evan you're not disgusting, you're not a faggot, and you belong here with me. they don't think anything less of you," Eddie kissed his head. he wanted Buck to see how important he was and he didn't for a little bit, but not long.

"i love you, Eddie. i don't think words could ever tell you how much i love you," Buck sighed, pulling Eddie in his lap so he could hug him better.

Eddie let out a deep breath, "i know, i love you too," he caressed Bucks cheek with his thumb before kissing him softly.

"i think you're scar is beautiful, whether you think it or not. everything about you is, Evan. i really want you to understand that," Eddie told him, laying his head in the crease of Bucks neck.

"i'm trying," Buck sighed, "i'm trying,"

it was like a never ending day for Buck. him and Eddie sat in the bathroom for close to an hour, Buck just crying in Eddie's arms.

"babe, we have to put the kids to bed," he whispered softly. Buck groaned and nodded, sitting up.

"you know she didn't mean to scare you or anything, she was just curious," Eddie assured him, putting his hands on Bucks face whenever they stood up.

"i know," Buck smiled. Eddie smiled as well, wiping away the access tears.

Buck kissed him softly and passionately. Eddie smiled, wrapping his arms around Bucks neck. Eddie broke the kiss, not wanting it to go any farther cause they knew what would happen if it did.

Eddie bit his lip and pressed their foreheads together.

"come on," Eddie said grabbing his hand and opening the door. they walked out into the living room where Helena and Ramon were playing with the kids.

"who's ready to go to bed," Buck smiled, picking Christopher up.

"but i wanna play with grandma and grandpa," Chris whined with a smile on his face.

"you can play with them tomorrow after school buddy, it's late," Eddie replied as he picked up Julia.

Buck took Christopher to his bedroom, Eddie took Julia to hers, tucking them in, giving them a kiss goodnight and switching.

"give daddy a kiss," Buck smiled at Julia, kiss her lips once, making a 'mwahhh' sound, making Julia smile.

"i love you sweet girl, you keep me going," He whispered, rubbing her face with his thumb. he stood up and walked to the door.

"goodnight daddy," she said, closing her eyes. he walked to the living room.

"Oh Buck, i'm so sorry i didn't mean to hurt you or anything," Helena said immediately hugging him, causing him to freeze and slightly panic.

"Mama, he doesn't like physical touch with anyone besides me and bobby," Eddie scolded with his arms crossed, causing her to let go immediately.

"right, of course, well we have to go, see you boys tomorrow," Ramon smiled sadly as they walked out the front door.