Olethros

eighteen - azriel

It was fucking torture to walk away from her. Even days later, I find my mind drifting back to the feel of her warmth against my thigh, her moans, the feel of her teeth on my skin. I had to lie to her so she wouldn't tempt me again. I hated the way it felt, to tell her she'd be sullied if a male touched her, but I couldn't have her like that again.

It would be true, in a sense. I wouldn't see her that way, but everyone else would and that was dangerous for her. If she was found and examined, and it was shown that she'd been with a male, she'd either be killed or thrown out. I couldn't let that happen. Even with her hidden away, I couldn't be the one to ruin her life. I'd corrupt her in a way that would have her starving for it and she couldn't live like that if she was to be shipped off to some fucking kid in the Spring Court.

My breath left me in a rush as I threw my fist at Cassian, dropping down to avoid his blow and swiping my foot out. He lost his balance, his back slammed into the ground. In that same moment, I unsheathed the sword on my back and brought it down. At that position, he couldn't unsheathe his own sword. His hands shot out to catch the blade but I stopped it. Our pants rivaled each other as I stared down at where my blade would take his throat.

"I can't keep fucking doing this. I'm distracted, Azriel, we all are. There's no point in training like this," Cassian spat. I pulled the sword away and sheathed it again, extending a hand. He took it and let me haul him to his feet.

"It's been almost a fortnight. There is nothing we can do if she hasn't been found already. We can train because we don't know if this is going to turn into a war," I argued, shifting my weight into a readied position. Cassian rolled his eyes and copied me, though I wasn't shocked when I had him down again. We went in rounds over and over, only stopping when Rhysand slammed into the ground behind us. Cass and I immediately turned, waiting to hear what he found for the day.

His eyes were bloodshot and shadowed, his hair tousled. His wings disappeared as he shook his head. "Nothing."

"Your father?" I urged, curious if Alcaeus had gotten any closer.

"No. I know it's stupid, but I feel like he's given up. He has soldiers monitoring places, but he won't go further than that. I know he doesn't care about her well-being but he isn't even trying anymore. It's pissing me off," Rhysand spat. I exhaled roughly, glancing to Cassian. He was staring at our brother, jaw set tight.

"You can't keep flying around aimlessly. There's been no advances, there are several hundred people out there looking for her. Take a break, Rhys. Like last week, let's go to Rita's and just relax. There's nothing you can do that hasn't been done," Cass spoke up, walking past me to him. Rhysand groaned, glancing out to the city.

"I feel sick knowing she's out there somewhere with no experience outside of being around our mother. I can't help her when I know she needs it."

"Does she? Would she really have run off without telling you if she needed help?" Cassian asked. It was a harsh reality, one that had Rhys shoving his shoulder and marching toward the House.

"Fuck off, Cass. Go get drunk if that's what you want. I'm going to try and figure out where the fuck she is," Rhys snapped. I sighed, following behind the two of them. Cassian continued to argue with Rhysand, but I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I wanted a chance to go back to see Freyja. It was wrong of me to want to, especially after what I had said to her, but I was fucking addicted.

"Fuck! Fine, I'll go with you as long as you promise to join me on a search tomorrow," Rhysand shouted. Cassian grinned at him.

"I'll go anywhere with you, Rhysie."

I fought back a scoff at how ridiculous Cassian was, but he had won, because Rhysand's lips twitched up. It'd been a while since we'd seen him smile and it warmed my bones to see it.