Olethros

forty four - freyja

My head pounded as I drifted back into consciousness. My lips parted, feeling dry. I ran my tongue over them, peeling my eyes open. The sunlight that fell into the room made me wince. I sucked in a breath, stilling when I felt a weight on my hip. I blinked, taking in my surroundings.

Spring Court, Tamlin's bedroom. My chest deflated at the memory of the night before, at the realization of what was on my hip. A large hand was splayed across the widest part of my exposed skin, my knee tucked up. His arm traced the curve of my waist, his hot breath against my bare shoulder blade. I felt disgusted at how much skin was exposed to him.

I slipped my hand from beneath my cheek, already feeling the swell to my face from my crying. I pressed into the bed, moving to lift myself slowly, but I felt Tamlin's hand tighten, hips rolling. I stared at the trees beyond the window, frozen in fear. He'd been kind the night before, but what if he decided he was bored?

His body moved closer to mine, warm skin against my back. His hips rolled again- along with my stomach- and I felt the hard length of him against my rear. My hand slid back up, knuckles going between my teeth as I waited. I waited to be entered, to be torn, to be broken yet again.

"Tamlin?" I whispered against my knuckles. His hips stopped moving, hand tightening on my hip. I sounded so meek and afraid, I hated it. I repeated his name. I may have been a coward, but I wasn't ready.

"Hmm?" He groaned. I felt his mouth against my back, not kissing but as if he'd moved closer seeking my skin. I swallowed, unsure if it was of a Lady to tell her fiancé to stop. Thankfully, I didn't have to. The bed shifted, as if he lifted his head. A sharp inhale sounded and then his body was gone from mine.

"I'm sorry, I was asleep. I didn't mean-."

"It's okay," I murmured, still staring at the trees. Tamlin sighed, the bed dipping further before rising. Still, I stared. I heard shuffling and then the creak of a door. Fabric moved, feet padded, and the bedroom door open and closed. It was only then that I lifted my head.

I was alone, yet again, though I did not cry this time. I'd embarrassed myself enough the night before. Running my hands over my face, I rose from the bed. I didn't want to face the day, but I couldn't lie in a male's bed and wait for him to return when I, quite frankly, didn't want him to.

I ensured the door was locked before slipping the nightgown off and snatching the dress from yesterday off my trunk. I opened it, filing through. Lacy undergarments were beneath intricate and frilly gowns. I sighed, tugging on the scratchy material and pulling a gown over my head. This one had white lace-trimmed straps, the lace lining the neckline and boning of the bodice. I reached behind myself and tied it, though not nearly as tight as the servants had done for me yesterday.

I smoothed the pink floral skirt and grabbed my satin slippers, pushing my feet into them. Finally, I closed the trunk and dropped onto it, resting my chin on my fist.

I had no words for the life I now lived. It'd only been one night and I wanted to run. I wanted Azriel. I wanted my brother. I even wanted my mother. I knew she didn't want to send me here, she'd just been doing as told.

Grief struck me again like an arrow to the heart as I rose from the trunk. Perhaps I'd wander the estate and learn of places to hide away when I didn't want to be around this wretched family. I pulled open the door, gasping when Tamlin stood there, hand raised like he was going to knock. He cleared his throat, stepping back.

"Freyja," he spoke my name slowly as if a foreign tongue. I swallowed hard, stepping back as well. "I wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable this morning. It's just, I-."