It took over a 1000 years To find you

Sunday

Emily's P.O.V.

It's been 4 days since I started my training, it's now Sunday, And to say that I am not emotionally, and physically exhausted would be an understatement.

Every night I have the same vision, of the same things. Always black roses, wolves, and etc.

My grandmother has not come to me in a Wake dream again, Which, I'm not sure is a good or bad thing.

And speaking of my grandmother, I have not heard her voice nor seen Anything in the past 4 days since I started my training, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

And due to the fact that I have not heard or seen anything from her in 3 days I'm on edge, and something deep in my stomach is pulling at me Almost as if telling me something bad is about to happen, and I guess it is, Quietness is never a good thing.

My training has been going good, Surprisingly I'm doing better than I thought I would and I'm learning quicker than I thought, And even Agatha admitted to being surprised about.

Things with me and Veronica are still not good, In fact we've barely saw each other in the past 4 days and the only words we say to each other are mostly Hey, and I love you. which saddens me deeply, And every time I go to say more to her she either walks away before I can open my mouth, Or leaves for work.

I know I've hurt her and I know she's upset with with her at the moment and if I'm being Honest, She's kind of acting like a child. She's basically Ignoring me And I know why she's doing it, it's a pattern she has every time I make her upset.

She ignores me and barely says anything to me until I say something, It's a tactic to make me feel bad and worse. I've come to realize this in the past few days on my own Looking back on my life and everything, That's been happening a lot in the past 4 days.

I've also come to the realization that I'm not going to play Her little childish games,
I have bigger and more important things going on right now And once they are out of the way then I will talk with my sister, and I will fix our relationship and I will explain everything to her, but right now with how things are I don't want to. I have so much on me and I honestly just don't want to fight.

And I know that's what will happen if I sit down and talk with her right now, It will be a big fight and I'm not just talking about if I tell her about everything that has been going on, I know once we start talking a lot will come out, And I am not quite sure how much.

I love my sister, I do, I love her more than life, I will fight for her, die for her if I must, but sometimes I have to keep things from her, not for her own good, but for mine.

I don't like keeping things from her, I don't like not telling her every aspect of my life but there are just some things I can't, Because I know how she will react, I know how she is and I don't feel like dealing with that right now not with everything that's going on.

And I know, That's selfish of me, I'm selfish to feel and think this way, But I can't help it, it's how I feel, it's how I think, and in the past 4 days no matter how hard I try to fight it Things that I don't want to think or feel keep coming to me, and whether I want to admit it or not I know that it's how I truly feel, And it honestly scares me.

I don't want to be the selfish person who keeps things from her loved ones and lies to them, And is not honest. I don't want to be someone who hurts those she loves;

I feel like I'm turning into someone I don't Recognize, And it scares me, A great deal.

But what scares me even more, is the fact that I also feel, a small part deep inside of me feels Like it does recognize this person that I'm slowly turning into, that I don't want to.