18+ Oneshots

22 - Venom/Eddie - Genderbent Mishap

Eddie hated assholes who used magic. Learning magic existed was as unpleasant as learning aliens were real, because Eddie was as always in danger when he made life changing discoveries.

But that was a story for another time. Today, he had his weirdest magical encounter yet.

Eddie had been walking, silently arguing in his head with Venom over food other than chocolate being necessary, when a jerk in a wizards hat jumps out into his path holding someone's purse.

Feminine screams echo out of the alley, and Eddie steps in front of the jerk, throwing an instinctive punch.
The man turns and waves his hand, a large anvil appearing from thin air over Eddie's head and hurtling down to crush him.

Venom, timely as ever, wraps around Eddie, swatting away the anvil with one large hand and lunging at the wizard.

Luckily, he was a shitty wizard. The magic cannon he created last second just as shitty. It shoots at the duo, but venom catches the cannon ball and throws it into the wizards chest effortlessly. It knocks him back, the wizard crumpling to the ground, barely able to stop the ball before it did serious damage and passing out from the overuse of his mediocre abilities.

Black vans pull up, giving Eddie very much federal agency feelings as they screech to a halt at both ends of the alley.

Hellboy hops out of one and Venom relaxes, as does Eddie. They nod at each other, Hellboy scooping the apparently known wizard asshole up.

This wasn't their first encounter with Hellboy, or his agency. There was a little overlap between criminal assholes and paranormal assholes after all. Venom retreats into Eddie, bored but confident in his vessels safety.

Hellboy tosses the purse to the trembling mugging victim, who had been huddled against the wall as the bizarre encounter played out. He walks past Venom toward a waiting van where magic warding shackles were being offered by a stone faced agent.

The wizard reaches a trembling hand out as they pass, fingers dragging across Eddie's shoulder, and says something unintelligible.

Hellboy tosses him into the van and freezes when he turns to see a shimmering mist enveloping Eddie.

Soon, where the messy man had stood was an equally unkempt woman. Her long dark hair falling in her face, dark circles under her eyes and her hoodie baggier than ever around her.

"Eddie?" Venom asks, emerging to inspect his friend, tilting his head and looking over the changes.

"What ..happened?" Eddie groans, looking down at himself and gasping. "What the fuck?!"

Hellboy calls some people over, a small crowd around Eddie, and they hurriedly discussed gender spells and the cuffed pointy hat man. Finally concluding that due to his magic type and abilities it was likely a more common benign spell that would wear off in a day or so. "He likely cast it in the confusion of his half unconscious panic." One agent states, trying to reassure Eddie.

This didn't help Eddie feel any less weird about suddenly having a chicks body, and Hellboy smirking at him made him mad. It only got worse when the cocky red asshole looked him up and down, quipping, "I wouldn't mind helping you pass the time until you go back to normal.~"

Before he can do or say anything that would land him on the wrong end of Hellboy's stone fist, Venom encases Eddie.

"Eddie is feeling anger and confusion, we should get home before one of you," he looks at Hellboy, "starts a fight."

And then he's off, climbing the alley wall and jumping to the neighboring rooftop. Unaware of Hellboy a wistful gaze following their departure.

. . .