It's been a couple of weeks since me and Trevor broke up, It's been worse then it should be.
I haven't ate, I haven't slept and I look horrible.
No one even knows that we've broke up except Jamie and Nicole.
When I was messaging the group chat from when we were at the summer house I acted my normal self and joked like normal me, and Cole asking do you know where Trevor is makes me know that he hasn't told anyone.
I would I thought Alex would of messaged me saying something and he didn't.
We don't comment on each other's posts anymore and fans are suspecting that something has happened. I'm not sure how any of our friends have suspected anything or messaged us about something.
I haven't messaged anyone properly like how are you, what are you doing stuff like that normally communication to my family or friends.
I put all my time and effort into my work and I don't have any of that or my family or friends, it's upsetting.
My life right now it's hard a stressful I hate it.
Nicole was there for me but she sometimes says I have to move on but I really can't.
She doesn't know how many times I've dreamed about having a future with him, how my laugh becomes real when I'm around him, how I've felt alone and he was always there for me no matter what and how I felt when the first time he asked me on a date I was so happy.
I can't let him go I really can't I feel like it's impossible because I really love him.
I'm overthinking all night and all day at work it's not good for me.
"Ariella come her please" Sandys voices echos through the office.
"Yes?" I peak my head in the door.
"Have a seat" she tells me.
I pull out the chair in front of her and sit down.
"What's going on?" She questions.
"What?" I ask "nothing I'm totally fine".
"Your not" she shakes her head.
"Just tired" I tell her.
"That's it?" She asks.
"Yes" I nod.
"Right then" she sighs "you can leave".
"Alright" I walk out her office.
"Ariella actually" she says.
I turn my head around "go home and go to sleep".
"No I'm fine!" I snap "sorry that was rude".
"Your not fine" she says "go home and if you don't I'll get someone to carry you home".
"Whatever" I walk out her office.
"Ariella I'm meaning it go home and rest".
"I will" I nod.
I go back to my desk and sit down.
"What was that about?" She questions.
"She told me to go home" I sign out my computer.
"Your fired!" She shouts a little.
"What? No!" I shake my head "she told me to rest".
"Oh good you need it" Nicole smiles.
I pack my iPad and computer in my bag and grab my keys.
"I don't even want to leave I have all these things due and I'm just going to do them at home anyway" I sigh "I just need to get this done and I'll be able to sleep" "I need to work hard and I just need-".
"Stop rambling and go home!" Nicole tells me.
"I need wait on you" I tell her.
"I'll walk it's a nice day" she says.
"No" I shake my head.
"Ariella you've been wanting days off for ages" Nicole takes a sip of her water.
"Yeah I know but this is helping me get my mind off you know who" I say.
"No it doesn't your always staring into space" she laughs slightly "isn't your mum coming soon?" She asks.
I nod "mhm".
"Then look forward to that" Nicole looks at her computer then back to me.
"Yeah" I nod.
"You want him don't you" she asks.
I shrug "I don't know".
"Message him then" Nicole sighs.
"I can't" I shake my head.
"How come?" She asks.
"My phone is broken" I lean my chin on my hand.
"Fuck off Ariella I've seen you on Instagram about ten times today" she laughs.
"Not true" I say.
"Right" she nods.
"Ariella I can still see you!" Sandy shouts from her office.
"Go home!" Nicole kicks my seat from under the desk.
"Fine" I sigh.
I collect my things and head down.
I hop in my car and place my belongings on the floor of the passenger side.
I turn my car on and start driving.
My mind goes straight to Trevor.
'It's your fault that he left'
'You aren't even enough for him'
'He probably finds someone better'
'He's probably got a better girlfriend then you'
'He could do better'
'Ugly'
'Bitch'
'Whore'
My thoughts get cut off with something hitting my head then side.
I groan and hold my waist.
Suddenly everything goes black
