Bulling the new girl// Luke Hemmings [UNEDITED]

Chapter Nineteen

THURSDAY

I look at the laced dress, ending mid thigh. Every things quite, slow, dim. I never really liked dresses. I only wore them to special occasions. And this, believe it or not, is a special occasion. I take out a small clutch and little kitty heals. I zip on the dress, putting on the shoes. I walk over to me dresser, putting my hair up in a tight bun, adjusting my hair in place with bobby pins. I leave my make up light, small amount of eye shadow, winged eyeliner and mascara. I put my phone and ear buds, along with my car keys and credit card in my clutch. I walk downstairs, no ones talking. My brother looks depressed, his bright bubbly smile gone. He looks handsome with his hair slicked back. Too bad it's because of this. I adjust his bow tie, giving him a light kiss on the four head. He gives me a weak smile. Dad already left, not wanting to see me because when he looks at me, he sees her. He went off the handle when he found out, drinking 18 beer bottles. Jason and I hid in my room the whole night, scared of what might happen if we crosses paths with him. I sigh, taking Jason's hand in mine, and taking out the car keys in the other. I buckle him in before starting the car and driving to a near by church. When we arrive, we're swarmed by relatives, telling us their condolences, and how sorry they are for our loss. Right now, the last thing I need is their fucking pity.

"I'm so sorry"

"I can't even imagine how you feel right now"

"If you need anyone to talk to, you can always talk to us"

"You're so strong, having to take care of yourself and your brother"

"If you need a shoulder to cry on, we're right here"

"I know a therapist if you need one"

"If you need any council, remember uncle James is a council at a near by college"

"LOOK, I KNOW YOU FEEL REALLY BAD FOR ME RIGHT NOW, BUT I DONT NEED YOUR FUCKING PITY. AND WHAT MAKES IT WORSE IS THAT YOU GUYS DIDNT EVEN CARE ABOUT US BEFORE HER DEATH SO QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU FUCKING CARE. IT SHOULDN'T TAKE A DEATH OF HER TO AUTOMATICALLY MAKE YOU GUYS ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE OUR FUCKING EXISTENCE!" I snap. I didn't feel bad when I saw all of their sad faces, because they know it's true. When time came, I walked up to the podium, standing next to her cold body.

"She was an amazing person, nothing can change that. She made me laugh, she helped me when I was sad, having trouble with anything. She was my best friend. She loved me, took care of me, she was like my super hero. I loved her more than anything. And to face the fact that she wont be coming home kills me on the inside. When I heard the heart monitor go flat, my whole world stopped. Shattered. I had to watch the doctors pump her chest, give her mouth to mouth, even use a defibrillator. I was dragged out of the room, everything felt like it was going in slow motion. I miss her more than words can say, and you have no idea how hard it was to watch her die, knowing there was nothing anyone could do about it. I regret not going to see her before she was in a coma. But that was my choice. Even though I watched her die, at least I had the chance to see her before she did. I would trade any and everything I have in order to see her again. To hear her voice. For her to be alive. But I know there's nothing I can do to bring her back. I lost her, a best friend, my hero, my everything. I know she's in a better place, and I'll be here waiting until I can see her once again. 10:06, May 16, 2015 was her death date. A date I will never forget. I miss you. And I'll always love you." I pick up the shovel, the first one to drop in the dirt on her perfectly shinny casket.

Goodbye Ma.