Satan Reincarnate

Devil disguised as Man

***

I walked back up the street, dragging my feet as I looked to the ground, my head pounding and ears ringing. I scratched my neck where the cut was, looking up at the fading sky. I sighed. I never even got my coffee, and now I have to face whatever lies for me at home. The thought of it felt as if it tore a hole in my spine, and sad little monsters were crawling up my back and whispering depressing things in my ears. I felt somewhat empty after spending the last several hours of my life talking to Katie. Learning about Bill, her experience with the gang, what life was like for her in general. Empathy was such an important emotion to me because it helped me gain a vivid understanding of others, and seeing them on the same level of me. Growing up, I didn't get the attention I felt like I deserved so I always searched for it in others. I learned that relating to people is more comforting than actually asking for love, that's why kindness and regulated judgement was so important to me. The people who lacked what I had emotionally seemed to be astray, and apart of me wished I could help them. Help them understand others, so they could understand themselves.But, having such feelings can also affect oneself negatively. Which is why I also understand somewhat why people are unkind. Empathy is where you connect to others on an emotional level, so their feeling are contagious to you. Kind of like a yawn if you think about it. But, not only joy- you felt others pain too. Not in a way where you would make it about you, but it pulled at your heart strings and made you feel a bit less fulfilled.

I must've thought about this for a long time, by the time I re-connected to the outside world I was already reaching for my apartment door. I took a breath, and pulled it open. My eyes dried out with the gust of wind that hugged my face as I stepped inside. I blinked, regaining vision only to see nobody but the complex manager behind the desk. He looked up from his papers, and smiled. Stacey, was it?

"Good evening my dear!" He called from the other side of the room.

He gave me the creeps, I don't know why. I looked at him, and gave him an effortless wave. He clicked his tongue, and set his papers down as he exited from behind the counter.

"Where are your manners?" He asked me, his hands flat as he approached me.

I stopped walking, and cleared my throat. "Sorry, Hi." I muttered, trying to give him the 'fuck off' hint.

"That's better." He smiled at me, looking from my face down. "What happened to you?" One of his eyebrows raised.

"Ah, speaking of being busy, I saw your door was missing the handle." He added as he tapped his foot. "I was just going around doing my checks, and I noticed the room belonged to you."

I looked back at the strangely hopeful smile on his face, feeling strange about him.

''Oh yeah, I can handle that." I reassured him, starting towards the elevator.

"Oh no my sweet, it's already handled." He kept pace with me, his words echoing through my bruised mind.

"What do you mean?" I asked him as I stepped into the elevator.

"We can go up and check it out together." He said, stepping into the elevator. His pressed the button to take me to my floor, and with that the door closed- isolating us from everybody but eachother. I didn't like how he said 'together.'

"Angelina, correct?" He questioned, looking down at me.

"Yeah." I didn't look back at him.

"You know," He said, a bit aggravated. I watched as he clicked the 'panic' button on the door, causing it to stop. I looked up at him, starting to actually feel afraid. "Has anybody ever taught you respect?" He scolded, looking down at me with anger fueling his words. "How to respect a man?"