Orelia Foster never thought that she would escape.
She never thought that one day, someone would come and take her away from the man who's had her most of her life.
Who only cares about the money he can make off of her.
That's how most foster par...
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✦ 𝑅 𝑂 𝐺 𝑈 𝐸 ✦ (I was all over her - Salvia Palth)
The first time I thought about suicide was when I accidentally ripped a hole in my drawing.
I think I was seven.
Over the years I've tried figuring out why I've wanted to end my life over the smallest things. Then I realized why. It's because I need a reason. Any reason. Small or big. If it's because I ripped a hole in my drawing or because the only girl I've ever wanted, left.
I just didn't want to be here. I think I still don't.
There's only one thing keeping me here and right now, it feels like I'm about to lose her.
She's slipping through my fingers. I can feel it just by the way she stares at me now, her eyes slightly wide as if she had seen a ghost and maybe she had. All those memories that had been repressed now rushing through her, coming back like a flood no longer able to be held back.
Or maybe she still doesn't remember a thing. Only snippets. Maybe I'll have to remind her exactly how I felt when I first realized I loved her. How much I obsessed over her eyes. The amount of paper I ripped out of my sketchbook, angry at myself for not getting the exact shape of her lips right. The way she held my hand.
The snow isn't falling as hard as it was when I first got into this clearing. I didn't wear a jacket but for some reason, the cold isn't bothering me at all.
I just feel...numb.
White puffs of smoke leaves neither of our lips.
My eyes drop down to Orelia's hands. They shake as she brings one of them to her stomach. She's trying not to meet my eyes and it nearly breaks me. It does break me.
"Orelia-" I start, taking a step towards her but she shoots out her hand to stop me, tears welling in her eyes.
She stares at the ground, her cheeks red. She's cold and all I want to do is wrap her in my arms. Hold onto her forever.
No. Scratch that. I want to travel back in time to before I even told her because the hurt, the pain in her eyes is like a punch to the stomach.
"I..." she trails off, swallowing. Her watery eyes flicker to me. "I forgot you?" She says slowly.
I bite the inside of my cheek. Hard. I take another step towards her. I don't think she noticed.
"It's not your fault-" I start again. It's mine.
"How could I? Why did I...I forgot you," she stutters, her bottom lip quivering. She gasps, her eyes jumping everywhere but not really focusing on one thing. "and you didn't tell me..." and now she looks at me.
