Chapter 23

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"Siera, Siera wake up!" 

Siera came awake with a jolt, the writhing of her body coming to abdrupt stop. "Sirius?" 

"Siera, are you okay?" Siera sat up slowly, her head pounding and her skin sticky from sweat. 

Sirius's face was solemn, his eyes red and the bags underneath them dark. One hand was clenched on her bed spread, the other on rested on her knee. 

"I-I'm okay." Siera answered uncertainly. Her body was trembling, and her stomach was queasy. This was the second week of being home from St. Mungos. While sleeping there had been uneventful and even peaceful, as soon as she was home she woke screaming every night. Nobody in the house had gotten a good nights sleep since she had gotten back.

"You were screaming no, to stop." His hold on the bedspread turned his knuckles white. "I wish that disgrace was still alive, I'd make him-"

"Sirius." A soft voice came from the doorway. Siera was then aware that Lupin stood at the doorway, looking tired and ragged. He walked to Sirius and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's too late now."

"I know." Sirius said, his rage making Siera look away.

There was a sigh and Sirius then put his hand on her head, stroking her hair. "Try to go back to sleep love. Do you need anything?"

Siera shook her head silently, and gave a small smile in return as both Lupin and Sirius kissed the top of her head and murmured good nights. They turned off her light on the way out, but left her door open.

As soon as they were gone Siera collapsed back onto her mattress, her eyes stinging with tears. She turned over and silently cried to herself.

Georgy jumped onto the bed and sweetly nuzzled against her chin. Siera sniffed and sat up, holding Georgy to her chest as she turned her light back on and got a piece of parchment from her desk. She sat down and began writing.

George,

I don't know what to do. I feel so scared all the time. I can't remember anything that happened, but when I sleep I'm filled with so much terror. I can see the pity and rage in Sirius and Uncle Lupin's eyes. But I don't want pity! I don't want them to be angry. I just want to be normal for once. Why can't I forget all together? Or remember when I'm awake so I can deal with it...

I wan't to see you George. 

No... I need to.

Love Siera Black



Siera finished writing and tied the letter to her owl, who after affectionately nipping at Siera's finger and hooting softly flew through the window.

Feeling better now, Siera fell back to her bed. She knew it was no use going back to sleep. Not if it meant that she would wake up Lupin and Sirius again. 

Siera grabbed her sketch book from beneath her bed and her favorite pencil. She drew for hours, until her eyes felt gritty and it pained her to sit up anymore.

Then finally, she slept.

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Siera,

Don't be scared, he's gone now, and he can't hurt you. I know how you're feeling and i want to help, If I could I would be there by your side every night, until you had no more nightmares. Even if it took me years. As for Lupin and Sirius, it's normal for them to feel that way. Sirius is your father and Lupin is basically an Uncle, family has to feel that way. I feel that way too. I wish I was face to face with that man now. I imagine ways I can make him pay for what he did to you. But that's not getting me anywhere. Like you I have tor remind myself he is gone. I miss you so much Siera, and it's tearing me up to not be with you while you go through this, and I'm sorry. Maybe you can spend the rest of the summer here? Or me at yours? I think my mum and dad have been whispering about staying at Sirius' place for awhile. Would you be okay with that?

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