The Healer

Chapter 18: Angel in Moonlight

Evelyn spent the day close to the MedHut. Hoping Newt would wake up. His fever was gone, he wasn't covered in sweat anymore. His stitches were good to come out as well, thanks to her healing. She took extra time and care to remove them. Now without the big white bandage around his head and face, all the blood cleaned away, he could be sleeping. His chest rose and fell peacefully. She pulled the blanket up over his bare chest, the bruising on his side was still there, but the rib was no longer broken and inflamed.  His leg on the other hand...She wasn't sure about. She did her best, she had made sure it was as aligned as she could, and made sure there was no other life threatening complications with the way it broke, but only time would tell. 

Her stomach kept turning all day, she felt jumpy and shaky. She felt her hopes sinking every hour the longer he stayed unconscious. She really thought he would wake up today after his eyes flew open.

But she couldn't force him...this was now up to him. Did he have the will to keep going or would he slowly shut down. She had to keep her fingers busy, so she picked up a notebook, and her pencil...she hadn't sat and drew in a long time. Sitting crossed legged on the chair beside his bed, she started sketching. 

There was a knock on the door. She turned and smiled. 

"About time you showed up." 

Minho stood awkwardly in the door, his hands shoved into his pockets, not really looking at the boy laying on the bed. 

"Yeah..I uh..." He muttered and rubbed the back of his neck, he was shifting from foot to foot.

"He's not going to bite. I might though." She teased. 

"Someone's a feisty little Pixy today."  

She shrugged, she glanced at Newt and her teasing fell, along with her smile.

"I'm trying." She said quietly. 

Minho slowly inched closer, like he was scared Newt was going to jump out of the bed and attack. She got up and shifted to the bed, pulling her legs up under her, so Minho could sit in the chair. He perched at the edge, all his muscles tense. Evelyn took Newts hand again, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. Minho just sat stiff and stared. 

"I can feel how uncomfortable you are Min. Tell me what's going on." She said quietly. 

He exhaled loudly and ran an hand through his hair.

"I don't even know...I just get a...sick feeling. like yeah this place is the shucken worst...but how can it" he motioned to Newt and his bound up leg, "be better then...then-" He abruptly stopped talking, folded his arms, leaned back and looked away. 

"I don't know Min. I'm trying very hard to understand...but.." She could feel the the tightness in her throat, and the hot sting of fresh tears, her voice became shaky and even quieter.

"I'm hurt and angry. I want to shake him and yell and scream that it was selfish and stupid. But I want to also hold him and tell him everything will be okay, because we have each other, we have friends...were family."

And then she paused, blinking hard, and talking even quieter, "and my stomach twists thinking that horrible death is better then us...than...than me? Am...I not worth living? He kisses me like that and then...leaves me. And I feel guilty and selfish for thinking that...it's gotta be his choice, he has to want to live for himself and not me...but selfishly I want him, Minho. I need him! I'm so confused and upset and broken and...angry."

A tear slipped past the confines of her long eyelashes and slowly made its way down her face, she didn't bother removing it. She let it slide and it fell onto her and Newt's intertwined hand.