dear diary
man, a lot has happened in the last few days. and they are not the prettiest. mainly, jiseok is still cutting himself.
god, it hurts me. it's painful looking at him. knowing that he's been doing that to himself. it makes me feel so uneasy and just... uncomfortable. but i'm trying, i really am trying to help him.
earlier at school i went to the bathroom and heard someone talking to themselves. not sure who it was, but he was talking about his mom? i have no clue, but it sounded like he was gonna cry, but then stopped crying?? like, he's crying one second and then right before he leaves he's not??? that's like a skill. a good one? eh, not really. but it's fuckin' concerning.
i don't remember what he said, something about wanting to satisfy his parents or whatever? he seemed to be hissing at something. i saw him take off his shoe and he hissed. maybe he had a scar on his ankle or whatever?? still, i'm concerned for that kid. it's unfortunate i never got to see him though. he left the bathroom like.. 20 seconds after i walked into my stall. i guess it's a really private matter. maybe i'll bump into him again tho, who knows.
anyways. back to jiseok. geez. it doesn't look like he's gonna be getting better any time soon. which sucks. because he's actually a great guy. he's nice, he's caring, he's sympathetic, he's like a sunshine remedy. if only he actually thought of himself like that tho..
atp, idek how many times i've "accidentally" seen his scars. i swear, it looks like he has a whole dark red line "bracelet" on his wrist. it's disgusting. i wish i never saw them.
i've known that he's been harming himself for like.. 2 years now. have i ever brought it up to him?
...no.
i wish i could. but i always get so stressed n like, jittery whenever i see them. like, i want to try and bring it up and be lowkey about it, but i'm not sure how to. obviously i'm not gonna say "jiseok, what's up with your arms? are you okay?" like.. no?? but, i don't know how to say it, without actually saying it.
helping people is really hard :(
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잠꼬대 (zzz..)
Mystery / Thrillerthree boys need help. the other three want to help them. trigger warning: - depression/anxiety - eating disorders/anorexia - abuse (mostly verbal) - blood/self-harm - suicide mentions - swearing, harsh language - death extra: no shipping is involved...
