잠꼬대 (zzz..)

♪

three days had passed, and they were already at the funeral for jiseok. it didn't feel real for any of them. "what do you mean this funeral is for our friend?"  they all thought. 

it really was a fever dream, especially for junhan. seeing some of his old classmates was... weird, to be honest. he was surprised that they showed up, let alone invited. it was slightly stressful talking to them after so long, but he couldn't help but feel some sense of comfort. even though they haven't seen each other in a year or two, they still came, and even said their condolences to him and the others, who they hadn't even known at all.

junhan had written a short speech for jiseok, and even some of his friends from middle school had written one too. everyone else who hadn't written one gave one huge bouquet of hydrangeas. his and his parents' favorites.

when junhan went up to say his speech, he felt himself shaking a bit. he wasn't sure why, but he was sure that he wanted to get his words across, and hopefully across the border between the living and the dead.

"to... jiseok... kwak jiseok. i met you back in sixth grade, when i was the only new kid. i was.. really shy, and the more i look back on it.. i must've been.. extremely shy, huh? well, either way... you were the first person who went up to me, and i still remember the exact words you said to me. "you're junhan, huh? do you want me to show you around?" 

... those words, and those memories that we had made together, with our class, they stick with me forever. i'll never forget my sixth year, because it was my best year. not just because of you, though it mostly was, but because of everyone else, too. 

i... really... really miss you, ji. i wish we were able to spend more time together, even though we hung out almost every weekend. i wish we were able to have just a few more days of our sixth year, just so that we could make more memories of us as little kids... so that... we could look back at them... when... we... were older...

so, jiseok.. i never thought that i'd be writing this... ever... but, i want to thank you.. for... everything. everything you've done for me, and everything you've done for everyone you care for.

and i promise, from the bottom of my heart, on my life, that i will never, ever, forget you.

from...

your friend..

han hyeongjun."

and with that, his speech was over. he gave his casket one last glance before taking his tear-stained papers back to his seat.

as they had sat through the rest of the speeches, and when the priest had done one last blessing, that's when people started to slowly pour out of the reception.

even after the ceremony, them and their families were the last ones to leave. it was painful for their parents, just staring at their children mourn over their friends' body in a casket. they hadn't known each other all too well, but they used this opportunity to try and get to know each other.

while their parents had talked, it actually made the boys feel a bit better. they had never told their parents about their other friends and how they really were, so their parents only knew them as "band friends."

though the words "band" and "music" had struck their hearts in a not-so nice way, they were still comforted by it. they were comforted by it even more because it's how they all managed to come together. 

through music.

their passion.

that they would dedicate, to him.