ILARIA (book 3)

53. ILARIA

Romeo glances at me as he drives. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. What were you doing here?" I rest my head against the window.

"I get a call that my little sister had just completely annihilated two Russians on a plane. Then Ciro calls me and says Ace arrested you but you're not at the station. I put two and two together." He pulls over. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. I'm a fool, you were right."

"Ilaria." He lets out an exasperated breath. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine, honestly." I wipe my cheeks.

"You're crying. That's not fine."

I always hated speaking to Romeo when I was upset. He isn't like us. He doesn't understand the concept of feelings being hurt.

It was Matteo I always ran to.

I always was the more emotional one out of them, out of all my family.

I look at him. "Just once... One time, can you try to understand?"

He nods his head.

"I am stupid." I close my eyes. "You don't need to tell me again. But Romeo, he made me feel things that no man has ever made me feel before. You know... You know how you were so infatuated by Delilah, that's how I feel about Asahi." I open my eyes slightly. "He managed to make me feel those things so quickly and even you know how impossible it is for me to be actually interested in a man... So obviously, I thought he was special."

Romeo leans back slightly, nodding his head.

"And he was. You know how mamma always says we'll know when the right one is the right one. That's the feeling I got." I close my eyes again. "I finally felt loved, not used. So I jumped in head first, thinking it would be all so perfect like you and Delilah, or Matteo and Xena." I rub my nose.

"It isn't though. Once Matteo is back we all know him and Xena will end up together. And then you and Delilah are going to get married soon." I feel a lump forming in my throat again. "And Asahi would never marry me."

My jaw clenches. "You don't understand because you've never experienced it Ro, but I have only ever been used by people that want me for the Reign title." I look at him, lips quivering. "The only available Reign daughter. The means to marry into the most powerful mafia." I choke on my words. "That's the only reason people like me. That or they're scared of you."

I see him swallow and lick his lips slightly.

"So the one time... The one time I find somebody that I actually like, and he wants nothing to do with the family name, he wants nothing to do with marrying me when that is all I want from him."

"Ilaria you should have knew." For once in his life he looked like he was sympathising with me. "He's a fed, Aria."

"I know." I wipe my eyes. "I know I'm so pathetic and stupid and-"

"Just a young girl in love." He clears his throat. "Stupid, yeah. But not pathetic."

"Everybody told me-"

He hugs me.

I don't know what I was more shocked about. The fact he voluntarily hugged me, or the fact he was genuinely sympathising with me.

Either or, I break down crying in my big brothers arms.

I did so for a long time and he kept comforting me the entire time.

I end up falling asleep, waking up in a bed with Keilani sitting at the edge, bandaging up my thumb.

"Hey pretty girl." She smiles.

"Hey." I sit up. "It's not that bad."

"Just making sure it's fine." She tucks my hair behind my ear. "You okay?"

I nod my head. "Will be."

"You don't have to marry you know."

"I want to." I bite the inside of my lip. "That's all I want. I want to marry. Not even for a title or a status. Just... for me."

"But you can't marry somebody you don't love, Ilaria." She looks around my eyes. "It's only going to hurt you."

I know that.

I bring my knees to my chest. "I might move to Chicago permanently after I marry."

"I know. Your husband will take Ciro's place."

"Is that..."

"It won't be a problem. Ciro and I like just... being The Vengeance Killers."

I smile widely at that. If only I could get a love like theirs. "Is my mom on her way?"

"She's in the living room. Romeo is annoying her as per."

"Bring her in here, please."

She nods her head, kissing my forehead before walking away.

A couple of moments later my mom walks in. "Hey."

"How did you know when you loved dad?"

She sits beside me, letting me rest my head on her shoulder. "Asher?"

"All of them."

"With Asher it was easy. He was the nicest to me and was always so around... Cus he was my bodyguard."

"Dad was your bodyguard?"

"Yup. I knew I loved Asher pretty early on, earlier than Luca and Roman." She rubs her finger across my bandaged thumb. "When he kissed me in front of his mom who hated when he bought white girls home." She smiles.

"That's when you knew you loved him?"

"Yup. With Luca it was whenever we went to get tattoos and he got my name tattooed." She laughs a little. "And Roman, when he hunted down and killed everyone that ever hurt me."

"You know when you left them... For that break when we were born. Did you still love them?"

"Of course. They were the only things I thought about. Even throughout all our hardships I knew my love for them was stronger than anything."

"I don't know if I love Asahi."

"I think you do."

"If you and dad ended things do you think you would be able to move on?"

"No. But I've been with him since I was 18, baby. You're still young."

"Do you think i'm being over dramatic?"

"Of course not sweetie. I think you're going through your first heartbreak." She kisses the top of my head. "Romeo was worse than this when Delilah went to Korea."

"Romeo and Delilah actually had something."

"So did you and Asahi."

"We weren't even in a relationship."

"Just because you didn't have the title of boyfriend and girlfriend didn't mean the things you did together weren't as of that." She shuffles a little closer. "You were together, hun, whether he likes to admit it or not."

"I need to go on holiday."

"The world is your oyster my love. Choose."

"Thailand." I sit up properly. "You coming?"

"If we make a pit stop in Italy to see Matty and Ash."

"Deal."

"That's my girl."

"Then after we'll start planning the wedding."

She looks at me. "When we're travelling, think on it." She nods her head.

"To Italy!"

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yuh

word count: 1160