All My Mother's Rules

Chapter 74: Drinking the Kool-Aid

Holding my bladder and going potty successfully on the toilet for the first time in two weeks should have made me happier.

Instead, I was back to sulking on the couch. Mom had turned off the TV. Finally, in my opinion, as Emilia was allowed to watch it far more than I had been allowed to do so at her age. My little sister was playing with the new doll house Mom had gotten her for Christmas, which only served to remind me of the pathetic gifts I had received.

At least she hadn't asked me to play with her. As far as I knew, the rules requiring me to obey my little sister were still in place. I had grown sick of that stupid doll house the past few days.

I was fifteen years old. Emilia was three. I knew for a fact that there was no physical way that our bladders could be the same size. Mine had to be capable of holding so much more than hers. So why was I struggling so much more than her to wait for the toilet?

Mom's taunt kept coming back to me. "Prove that you don't want to be a baby." Was there something wrong with me on the subconscious level? Was I somehow unknowingly sabotaging myself in the back of my mind? Was it something along the lines of what Samantha had meant when she explained in that heartfelt outburst during the sleepover about how she had this uncontrollable desire to wear diapers and be a baby?

I would be a nightmare of a client for a psychologist, not that I would ever dare express those thoughts out loud to anyone under any circumstances.

I was almost bored enough that I considered sitting down next to Emilia to play with the dollhouse. Almost.

I checked the clock. Lunch wouldn't even be for another hour. And that still left the rest of the day. I probably had close to another dozen trips to the toilet ahead of me before it was time to get a diaper on for bed. A dozen chances to fail, and I couldn't afford to slip up even once.

The sound of the washing machine finishing its load in the basement at last gave me something to kill the time. I leaped off of the couch the second I heard the noise. Best to try to stay on Mom's good side today. She greatly preferred that I do my chores without needing to be prompted.

I trudged all the way down the stairs to the basement. It had been what, ten minutes now since the last time I had used the toilet? I leaned over the washing machine, pulling the damp clothes out one-by-one and tossing them into the dryer. I didn't hurry through the task like I normally would have.

After sitting on the couch for most of the morning, this typically boring chore was a welcome reprieve. I turned on the dryer after tossing in a sheet. At least I'd have something to look forward to doing in about an hour.

Mom wasn't in the kitchen or the living room when I made it upstairs. I wasn't sure what she was up to, but it was nice to not feel like I had her eyes watching me all of the time.

As I sat back down on the couch, careful to make sure I was remaining attuned to my bladder, Emilia a

"Play with me!"

Not even polite enough to phrase it as a question.

"I'm the mommy." Emilia picked up two tiny plastic dolls, handing me the smaller of the two, a miniature baby complete with a diaper on her bottom. "And you're a baby, so you have the baby."

"That's silly. I'm not a baby."

"Yes, you are."

I rolled my eyes, and pulled back my skirt a few inches, enough to make clear to Emilia that I was no longer wearing a diaper. My younger sister was less than impressed by my recent change of undergarments.