Crimson Eyes

Chapter 28

I feel like I should apologize for this chapter, but you can't even argue with me over the fact that it's good. 

I slowly lowered myself to the ground in front of my bed, keeping a healthy four feet between us. "About?" I received a deadpan look in response. I sighed and avoided his eyes, finding the floor between us much more interesting. "I was hoping that was a drunk hallucination."

"Do you hallucinate about me admitting I'm in love with you often?" He was trying to tease me, but the effect was ruined by the hope in his voice.

"No," I told him honestly. I still couldn't look at him, I knew this conversation was necessary, but it still sucked that I was breaking my best friend's heart. "You're one of my best friends and I love you, but it's the same way I love Uraraka and Todoroki. As a friend."  I risked a glance up, expecting to find him crushed, but he didn't seem phased by my words. 

"I know you're not in love with me, Izuku. I'm not stupid," his voice was tired and monotone, a sense of normalcy around the weird situation. I was almost relieved to hear it. Maybe this talk would give him some closure and he could move on. "But I'm not blind either. You feelings for me," I opened my mouth to cut in, but he held up a hand. "Let me finish, okay?" 

I hesitated, but stayed silent. Hearing him out was the least I could do at that point. 

"You have feelings for me, and you know it. I just don't think you know what they are yet," Shinsou explained, causing me to frown. "I don't think you would have risked our friendship for just a hook up." 

He'd talked me into a corner. Whether he was right or wrong didn't matter, he had a point. If I said I never had feelings for him, then that would mean I really did destroy our friendship over a hook up. But admitting to them... I couldn't very well do that either. 

"I know you're with Kirishima now, but you've known him, what? A month and half? Is he really worth losing what we had?" He asked in a gentle voice. He had to have known that being to confrontational would get him kicked the fuck out. Instead, he was going for all my weak spots. "We were great together, Izuku. You can't even deny that." 

I knew he was waiting for me to try and tell him he was wrong, I'm sure he already had a counter to any argument I could think of. "We should head back," I said instead, nearly whispering. 

"You can't run from this. It's always going to hang over us, until we figure our shit out." Shinsou almost sounded as if he was pleading with me, like he was desperate. 

My hands ended up resting against the side of my head, my eyes squeezed shut as if I could somehow physically hold myself together. "I have a boyfriend, Hitoshi. I'm actually happy again. Why did you- Why do you always- Ugh! Why? We were doing fine, finally getting back to normal and then you just- you just do this!" I was overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and irritated. I didn't want to be there anymore, having that conversation. I wanted to go back to the bar last night, when we were all just goofing around and getting along. 

"Stop deflecting," he scolded, like a teacher would to a young student. It just pissed me off more. "Stop trying to blame me for ruining your life, when you're ruining mine just as badly." 

I finally looked at him after the accusation. "I'm ruining your life?" I asked in utter disbelief. 

All gentleness was gone from him, his eyes a hardened glare that pierced right through me. "Do you think I like being in love with you? Do you think it's been a fun two years, watching you flirt with everything that walks after a few shots? Did you seriously think my life hasn't been absolutely wrecked because of you?" His voice had raised higher the longer he talked, unable to keep his calm demeanor any longer.