Nothing like us [Lauren/You]

Chapter 4

"Girls please, let me explain. I can't forgive her AGAIN, I think my heart did that a while ago." My hands are suddenly shaking, my face turned down, I can feel the memories at the back of my mind coming alive again.

"So there is still a chance for you two?" Dinah asks me smiling like an idiot, her arm wrapped around my shoulder and I hate to do this to her but I shake my head.

"No, I don't think so. I can't go through that again and I have Emily waiting for me." I point outside the window and their eyes follow my finger, Camila sighs and Dinah has this look in her eyes like she realized something.

"She is still in your life after six years? So Lauren was right?" I don't understand her question so I look at her and she shrugs her shoulders and falls back into her chair, studying me for a second before her head turns towards Emily who's waiting for me in front of the coffee shop. That just reminds me that I have to go on, it's taking me way too long to get her this coffee.

"What do you mean that Lauren was right?" I ask confused.

"She always thought that you're going to leave her for Emily, that's probably the main reason why she was acting like a total bitch when Emily came to visit you on the tour. She hated the way Emily looked at you, she hated the way she held your hand. One night I found her crying in her bunk, she saw a picture of you two and when I asked her what is wrong she whispered something like, she could be happy Dinah, I am taking her life from her. You don't even know how much she loves you." Loves? She still does?

"Dinah, Camila I really have to go," I say quietly as I see both of them staring outside the window.

"She's beautiful," Camila says and wipes a tear from her cheek, why on earth is she crying?

"Are you okay?" I ask her and she turns her face towards me, I see her red eyes and nose.

"I miss you, she does too, we all do, I want her to be happy, I want my Lolo back, I need my best friend back, we are all a bit crazy since it happened, running around in freaking circles and all that we can do for her is hold her hand when she needs to cross the road because she jumps away everytime a car moves. She is like a lost puppy when she is walking, she is hiding behind us, the girl who used to be anything but shy is now always at the back. I haven't heard her say a word in more than six months. She stopped talking completely, she writes on the notes when she needs something. I haven't had a normal conversation with my friend in ages, and I need it, I fucking need it." Dinah is holding her hand on the table, both of them looking at me, basically begging me to go with them. And here I am asking myself what should I do, but the words that Susan said make me do the craziest thing in the world.

"I'll go with you, but not for more than an hour." I don't know if they heard the last part because they are squeezing me so tightly that I might lose my breath right here and now. Dinah tells me that I should tell Emily that something happened and that we need to meet some other day. It terrifes me how easy it is to lie to her, it terrifes me that when it comes to Lauren I drop everything that I am doing.

Camila and Dinah are out in no time when they see that Emily left, but Mila is covering her eyes and Dinah is making a weird faces because I kissed her goodbye. I think she deserves it, I think she deserves so much more than me.

"Stop you idiots, she is still my girlfriend," I say loudly.

"Yeah, for how long though?" Dinah whispers and I slap her hand away from my shoulder, but she is attached to me again in no time.

"I'm trying my best here Dinah, I told Emily that there was something wrong, I lied to her in the beginning of our relationship, what does that say about me? That I am a freaking prick, and I can't be a prick to Lauren too, so don't try to stop me when I am going to buy her a flower because I am doing it either you like it or not. It's something I do," I tell them and their eyes are set on me, watching me closely as I start walking towards the flowers that an old lady is selling.