Nothing like us [Lauren/You]

Chapter 27

I rub my eyes tiredly, they widen in surprise as soon as they land on my girlfriend sitting on the floor in front of our bedroom door looking stressed, "Laur? What are you doing? Come back to bed." I whisper forgetting all about our previous night.

"I'm all packed up." She murmurs quietly, just loud enough for me to understand it.

"W-what?" I stutter out throwing my legs over the edge ready to stand up.

"I'm all packed up, but I can't leave this, I can't leave us, most importantly I can't leave you, my heart won't let me. It hurts just to think about it, yet I want to give you some space." Lauren's hands are flying around the air and if her heart feels as bad as mine does I wonder how are we still holding on.

"How much more space do you think I need? Let's stop this suffering once and for all, I do not need space and from all of the people around us I do not need it from you, not even close. We had a rough night, but we will move past it." I try to assure myself as well, it's a shitty move but somehow I hope that if Lauren would have known she would have understand me.

"I do not want to." I hear her sob out into the cold night air as I sit down next to her our legs brushing slightly, I said it before how we don't need space and now I'm fighting against my own words trying to give her some, even though I want nothing more than hold her tightly and tell her that we'll survive this and anything that comes our way.

"I don't understand this. What do you want then?" Her green eyes search for mine in the dark, her hand falls down on my thigh gently and she gives it a light squeeze.

"I want us to talk about it properly, about how fucked up I am, about how fucked up this is, about how happy you and Noah make me feel. Even on the days I'm nothing more than an empty shell you stand by me, your love never questions anything."

"Do I have a reason to question you? Us?" Lauren's fingers dig harshly into the skin her hand is still stuck on, bringing out a little squeak from my lips. I can feel movements and it doesn't take long to feel her hot breath against my ear, she breathes out some air followed by a deep sigh. Her fingers roam down the lenght of my arm softly, her legs flying over mine in no time, she seems surprised by her own actions when I finally get to see her eyes in the moonlight. Lauren is straddling me and I am frozen in place beneath her, just waiting, waiting for her to say something.

I've been waiting for a while now to see her break down her own walls and let me in since I can't seem to do it. I've been waiting for a fragile woman to show me her true colours but there's the catch, my fiancee is anything but that, fragile is just not the word that would suit her no matter how you turn it around.

"God no, you have no reason to doubt this, us, the love I feel when you just take a simple glance my way. Your arms that's where I feel safe and sound."

"Then stay," I let out quietly, my voice shaking a little. Lauren does, she stays, the only thing that happens is that she turns around slowly, her back pressed to my front as we observe the stars through the window in our room.

"Can we dance? I need to feel you closer, please baby," I stand up extending my hand for my beautiful girl to take, I smile as she does so, bringing her up, our faces inches apart, "kiss me with affection." Lauren mumbles quietly and I close my eyes leaning in to give her a little peck, she complains immediately but I pull my phone out, Lauren takes it away and scrolls around like she is searching for one particular song. As it comes on I almost sob, but her strong arms pull me in immediately, her lips collide with mine in a slow passionate kiss.

I can see it in your eyes as I am stumbling home
You living with the man that you no longer know
You forgot to smile as I passed you by
Now we sitting down for dinner we got nothing to say
It's like I am watching you slowly slipping away
From me, from me