Nothing like us [Lauren/You]

Chapter 14

Anna basically ran away from me when I asked her about Lauren's results, my luck was not much better when it came to Susan, to sum it up they are both avoiding me now. I wonder what is going on, I wonder what should I do, after all I am a doctor and I could easily sent an intern to bring me Lauren's files, but I don't want to do that. I want them to be honest with me, I want Lauren to be honest with me, sometimes it feels like honesty is not appreciated as it should be anymore. People would rather lie to your face than tell you the truth and I hate it, God knows how much I hate it.

I've been working late lately, this week has been crazy for me, I slept for max 2 hours per night and I can feel myself getting weaker day by day, but this patient, Lucy, she means so much to me. I know that I shouldn't be that close to someone, especially a girl, but that is the thing, she is just a little girl.

She should be outside playing games with her friends, but she's been stuck in this hospital for six months now, nobody can figure out her condition, nobody can say, "she has this or she has that." it is just not possible anymore, at first we thought it was cancer, but it was not and now I am wondering if we missed something, if there is something important that I've missed when I was looking through her files.

"You should be at home for about two hours now doctor, it's not good for you to keep doing this to yourself." Doctor Loyd that I've been working with this week says as she steps inside my office.

"I just, I can't get a grip on this case."

"Lucy again? Give it some time, we're getting closer aren't we?" She was older, wiser, she had a lot of things happening in her life right now, but she is still the most intimidating person that I've met here.

She reminds me of Lauren when we were younger, so sassy and hard on everyone, she doesn't take a no for an answer, she is mean to every single person in here and when I accidentally asked her something about it, she smiled and said, "that's how you keep your job and make them better, in medicine there is no mistakes, everything has to be perfect, you can't just take a risk, maybe sometimes you have to, but most of the time everything that you do, must come from your head, that's why you have it right? To think with it, to think about the most appropriate methods to use, to think about the signs your patient has, everything starts and ends in your head, there shouldn't be any heart involved in our cases."

"Are we really getting closer? What if there is no time? How can you be so calm about it? She is your patient too," I say as calmly as I can.

"That's the thing, she is not just my patient, she is yours too and I have faith in you."

"Oh? So there is still a heart beneath that shell of yours?"

"Easy there tiger don't cross the line now," she says sternly as she moves towards the exit.

"Go home, take a shower, watch tv, do something, maybe the answer will come to you when you won't be even thinking about it." That almost made sense to me, almost. I want to ask her something before she leaves, but of course I was too late, she is fast, one second she is there talking to you and the next she is saving people.

Even though I didn't want to, I told myself that enough is enough. I closed the door of my office and went home. On my way there something weird happened, I drove past the park my father loved so much, he took me here when I was just a child. It was our favourite place and just one look at it made me think about my family, the people I've been missing so much without even knowing it.

A few days before my father's death I wanted to tell them that I liked girls, I made this speech inside my head but when I came home that night, to talk to them I was faced with an empty house. It was weird and a bad feeling ran through my body, I called my mom but she didn't answer, I called my brother and when he told me that they were at the hospital I forgot about the speech in my head.