Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Fantasia's POV
I watched Taraji sleep, stroking her hair as I did so. She looked so peaceful and calm and pretty. I wish that I could bring this side out of her more. I don't know why I hurt her so easily. I finally got what I wanted from her tonight, but the some reason I'm still not satisfied. Maybe it's because I know deep down that no matter how many times I make her cum and scream my name, she'll never fully belong to me as long as I'm still with Kendall. She'll never give all of herself to me, and I can't do shit with bits and pieces. I'm selfish and greedy. I want every part of her even if she can't have every part of me, because those parts belong to my husband. It's easier to make her want to push me away instead of pull me closer.
I paid attention to the rising and falling of her chest, humming a beat to the steady rhythm. She looks so vulnerable right now, open for me to do whatever I please to her. I kissed her forehead, wrapping my arm around her waist. It feels natural to hold her like this. If she were awake right now, she would probably be pushing me off of her. Whenever I try to be gentle and soft with her she acts like she wants nothing to do with me, but when I'm verbally abusing her and being rough with her, she acts like she just can't shake me. I don't under why she does it to herself. I wish that she could see how beautiful and valuable she truly is. I relate to Taraji in a lot more ways than I'm willing to share with her. I know what it's like to feel unwanted and unworthy. I know what it's like to be beaten within an inch of your life by the man who is supposed to love and protect you. I know what it's like for a man to climb on top of you and take your power away from you. I know all too well, yet I use Taraji's trauma as a weapon against her to shut her down. I guess you could say that I'm a control freak. The idea of not having complete, unrestricted control of everyone around me is scary, but for some reason it's ten times worse when it comes to Taraji. I feel like she'll slip away from me if I'm not able to keep a tight hold on her, and that's the last thing I want to happen.
My phone was blowing up with text messages from Kendall, asking me where I was and why I wasn't in bed with him. I looked from my phone screen to Taraji and let out a heavy sigh, knowing that I would have to leave her earlier than I intended to. When I tried to take my arms off of her waist, she whimpered in her sleep and held me closer, snuggling into me with her ass pressing against me. There's no way I can escape now, and I honestly don't think I want to. What better place is there to be than cozied up with Taraji P Henson's fine ass? I placed a kiss on her neck, briefly thinking about how good my name would look tatted there. She scooted her ass back against me until I was damn near hanging off the edge of the bed. I gently rolled her over, giving myself enough room to step down from her bed without waking her. I made sure she was warm and securely tucked in before leaving out and going across the hall to the room I shared with my husband. Kendall was up doing something-most likely work-related- on his MacBook. I greeted him with a kiss, but I could tell by his body language that he wasn't feeling me in the moment.
Fantasia: Hey baby.
Kendall: Don't do that fake sweet shit with me, Tai. We haven't spent a lick of time together since we got off the jet.
Fantasia: I was just in Taraji's room-
Kendall:*rolls eyes* Taraji, of course. Of course it's about her. I swear you say her name more than you say my name!
Fantasia: Are you seriously jealous of my friendship with another woman?!
Kendall: Maybe I am, Tasia! I know that it sounds a little silly, but I've just been feeling neglected lately. Ever since you met her, you've been missing out on time with me to spend with her. If I was crazy, I would think you two are screwing each other.
Fantasia: It's a good thing you're not crazy then, because nothing like that would ever happen with her or anybody that isn't you. Only you can get me like this.
I grabbed his hand and guided it into my pants, making him feel my drenched panties. He didn't have to know that Taraji was the reason for it. It made him feel good about himself, and I loved to see that look of confidence on his handsome face. I'm in love with my husband, but I'm psychically and mentally drawn to Taraji. She pushes me to places that no one else would dare to go. She drives me wild and tames my heart all at the same time. She makes me feel crazy, but at the same time everything makes more sense when I'm talking to her. She gives me her fire all while simultaneously showing just how cold she can be. She's a drug, made to destroy and reconstruct me with every dose. If I were to write a song about her, I would be writing it for the rest of my life because there's just so many layers and sides to her that take more time to uncover than others. I want to know her, all of her. I want to dance with her inner demons and bond with the skeletons in her closet. I want to see her scars that makeup can't cover. I want to see her flaws that don't make it onto her magazine covers. I want to see all of that, but she's never going to show me if she doesn't trust me.
As Kendall ripped my panties off and dropped his own boxers, I thought about Taraji. She threw a glass at me after throwing the drink that it contained, and she made me cut my cheek with glass. She kissed Dani. She slapped me across my face. She did all of that grimy shit to me, and I still want her more than anything I ever wanted in my entire life. Even my husband.
This chapter was weak as hell and I tried to make it long enough, but I'm so tired😩
