Chapter Twenty Nine

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Fantasia's POV

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Fantasia's POV

Today I don't have any scenes to shoot, so I plan on taking the day to enjoy the various activities and excursions that Atlanta has to offer. I may or may not have gained access to Taraji's call sheets, and I know that she's not doing any scenes today either. I hope she doesn't already have anything planned for the day, because I want to spend time with her and work on reconnecting with her. I missed the friendship we were establishing before everything turned sour. I'm the cause of the problem, so I feel like it's up to me to create a solution. I miss her. I want her to trust me again and let her guard down in my presence. I vividly remember her telling me that she felt protected when I was on top of her. I want to make her feel like that again. In a perfect world we would be friends with benefits, but if sacrificing the benefits will heal our broken friendship then I'm willing to do just that. Something within my soul isn't right, and it won't be right until I make things right with Taraji. I don't know why I've been so abusive to her. Maybe it's because I know that as long as I'm married to Kendall, I'll never be able to have Taraji the way I want her, so instead of getting myself hurt, I decide to hurt her. I use her suffering to ease my own, and it's not fair to her. Last night while laying in bed, I stared up at the ceiling trying to remember moments of my life that didn't include Taraji. When I realized that I couldn't recall my life without her, I knew that I had to lay my pride down and start working on a way to make up for every horrible thing I've said and done to her in the past couple of months.

I was taking a shower to get ready for the day when I heard the bathroom door open. A few seconds later, the shower curtain rustled and Kendall stepped in, his shower shoes coordinating with mine. I jumped, startled, slapping his chest as he just smirked at me. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes right in his face. I'm starting to lose my sexual attraction to my husband, and it's killing me on the inside. I know it must be secretly tearing him up as well. He has to know that something is breaking between us, but for some reason the fact that he's completely oblivious and hasn't said a word about it just frustrates me. He's not going to realize that we're on two completely different islands until his starts to sink and he needs to make a home on my island.

Kendall: Good morning, beautiful.

Fantasia: Good morning babe.

I sighed as he pushed me under the water and began to kiss my neck. I lightly placed my hands on his chest, making him step back and look at me in confusion.

Kendall: Come on baby, don't you wanna get a little dirty while we get clean? I know you love morning sex.

Fantasia: I don't have time for that today, Ken. I have a lot I want to do.

Kendall: I know you're not working today. We can spend the day together. I'll set up a whole day of activities, you won't have to lift a finger.

Fantasia: That's sweet baby, but I already have plans with Taraji and Danielle. My next off day can belong to just the two of us.

I tagged Danielle's name on the end so that he wouldn't be suspicious, but I could tell by his response that all he heard was Taraji's name.

Kendall: Is Taraji your husband or am I? You spend all day working with her, you would think you'd get tired of being around her at some point.

Fantasia:*rolls eyes* You're overthinking for no reason.

I turned the water off and pushed past him, stepping out of the shower and tying my monogrammed robe around my body. He followed behind me, putting on his matching one. I turned the water on at the sink to drown him out, but his voice was still piercing my ears.

Kendall: Be honest with me Tasia, are you attracted to Taraji?

Fantasia: What?

Kendall: You heard me. Are you? Tell the truth. Physically, she's a lot like the women we used to bring home before you had Keziah.

Fantasia:*scoffs* I do not want us to have a threesome with Taraji.

Kendall: That's not what I asked. Quite frankly, I think it's hot that you got a little girl crush. I just want you to be honest about it.

Fantasia: I'm not having this conversation anymore. It's stupid and a waste of my breath and yours.

Kendall: And now you're deflecting. If you were messing with her behind my back, I wouldn't be mad if you just included me.

Fantasia: So you're saying you want to fuck my friend?

Kendall: We've fucked plenty of your friends together. I'm just trying to make you feel comfortable with your desires so that you won't go out and do something that will destroy our marriage.

Fantasia: Taraji is off limits. We're not about that life anymore, we agreed to that when Keziah came along. I don't even know why we're still talking about this. The conversation is over.

I was highly pissed off, and not because he suggested that I might be cheating on him, but because he was thinking of inviting Taraji to fuck the both of us. I don't want him or anyone else for that matter to touch her. Kendall and I have had our fun with a couple of my friends and random women that we picked up back in the day, but those days are over for a reason. For him to even consider reigniting that lifestyle and making Taraji apart of it is ridiculous and disrespectful as hell. Not to mention degrading as hell. I know that I've purposely belittled her before, but I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and change for her. It's not even about sex for me anymore. As a woman, I just want to be there to build up and comfort another woman. I hope that she allows me to.

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