Stolen from me

A Fed Up Bey.

June 16th
Beyoncé
3:30

Ever since Amarianas words yesterday I closed out on everyone it just took my heart. Can I keep trying? No, can I force her to accept the truth? No can I take the pain all over again. No. I've resumed in my room not bothering to come out I've cried a few times as well. My pain is no longe pain it's built up numbness at this point I have no tears left to cry, they won't dare fall from my wet red eyes anymore. My heart just aches at the bought of the words.

"My mother just died" i let out a panic breathe and I closed my eye and shook my head. "Oh god" I muttered in a cry. I was sitting in my dark room just looking as if I could see what to look at.

"Bey?" I heard followed by a knock. I wiped my eyes and sat up. The door open and it was Shawn I sagged myself back down in a "oh" glad it wasn't one of the kids. He hit the tall lamp and I squinted my eyes at the bright sight as the light burned through my sensitive eyes.  He looked at me for moments reading my face before he shook his head sadly.

"Bey she didn't mean it" he spoke I chuckled bitterly.

"But she did" he didn't say anything. Just sat down next to me

"How many times?" I spoke in a sad mumbled. He looked at me.

"How many times what baby?" he brushed my messy curls out my face.  I shook my head and looked at him.

"How many times will we go through this?" He shook his head.

"Bey i" he began but I cut him off.

"No seriously why does this keep happening?" I was Beyond furious at this point. "We get so close" i shook my head angrily. "So close. Sometimes I even think I'm gonna get called mom and soon as I think that it all blows up in my damn face" I slightly yelled. I felt my cheeks heating up and my eyes burning I looked down not wanting to cry because I'm tired of crying. "Maybe it wasn't meant to be" I spoke.

"What" Shawn snapped his head up. I wiped my eyes and sat up.

"Maybe she wasn't meant to be found or to come back" i said simple with a shrug. My feeling are fading and my heart is turning black for that child. I go save her ass and this is what I get.

"Ok Beyoncé I get your mad but watch what you say you would know how you would feel if something happen to her right now" I nodded assuring.

"Yeah I would" I spat back. "But I also know when I have no feeling at all, and right now I don't feel a damn thing for her." I gritted.

"So you basically saying you don't care ?" He scoffed. "Ok" he nodded.

"Call it what you want to Shawn." I threw the covers off of me and got out of bed. "I don't have times for this shit" i walked over to my dresser to get clothes

"Do even with her being on bed rest and bruised up the way she is you don't care?" He asked. I paused my hands in my drawer and looked up. I turned around and shook my head.

"I can seem too" I spoke honestly. My tiredness was killing me tired from the fighting the arguing the trying just all of it and I tired for her but she wasn't trying for me.

"So the previous kidnap,her being hurt does nothing to you" he laughed bitterly and nodded.

"She honestly brought that on her self she wanted to go back when she came that night" I yelled.

"Because that crazy bitch was gonna kill her" i shook my head and hit my lip through a bitter smile. "And you agreed to it Beyoncé"

"So what it's my fault?" I pointed my index finger to my chest. "And you agreed just as much as I did so don't blame nothing on me" he shook his head and sighed out frustration.