Worth It

Chapter Twenty Three

قُلْ هُوَ اللَّهُ أَحَدٌ

Say: He is Allah, the One and Only" Surat Alkhlas

Chapter Twenty Three
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"- and then she turned to the class and was like "that's probably the most elegant fall you've ever seen so kiss my ass" and she walked out"
We all erupted into laughter as I told my brother and father hilarious stories that happened in my university. My father and Mark have been sitting at the dinner table for an hour catching up and laughing reminding me just how much I missed them.
"So have you met any new boys?"
My dad asked the expected, dreaded question that everyone was anticipating during the whole dinner.
I gave him a mock glare as he looked at his dessert acting innocent.
"Dad!"
I groaned.
"I have no interest in discussing my crushes with my old man of a father" Mark burst out laughing as dad gave me a panned look and threw a rolled up tissue at me.
"EWWWW THAT BETTER NOT HAVE YOUR BOGGIES ON IT"
I squirmed turning the tables on me.
"Don't worry sweetheart, it was only a quick wipe"
I couldn't help but smile seeing dad so carefree for the first time since mother passed away. I shook my head as I threw a chip from Marks plate at him.
"HEYYY!"
Mark managed to squeeze out through a mouth full of fries.
"So Alanna back to the question, did you meet any boy you potentially see yourself marrying?"
Dad just wouldn't let it go and I knew exactly what his intention was while asking me.
I sighed before replying
"Yes dad I met a few nice boys but I want a man."
I looked down at my plate of melted ice cream as memories of Damion and I flitted across my mind. I bit my lip trying to keep the tears at bay.
I looked up feeling Mark stare at me. His eyes held specks of sympathy and I knew he could sense my agony. I gave him what seemed like a blank look but had a warning only he understood. My dad chuckled unaware of the exchange as he whispered
"That's my baby girl"

*****
"Asalamao Alakom wa rahmatulahu wabarakatuh"
I finished my prayer and crouched low reciting Ayat Alkursi before making dua. I heard a knock at my door just as I said Ameen and called for whoever was outside to come in while still sitting on the beautiful prayer mat. The intricate designs that were created with an obvious astounding passion created an atmosphere of serenity and security.
"Hey sis"
Marks voice brought me back to reality. I turned to him and smiled. I grabbed the English Translation of the Quran that was on my desk as I folded up the prayer mat. I sat on the bed watching Mark sit on my desk chair. He seemed reluctant to speak as I looked up at him. I nodded at him waiting for him to speak.
"I'm just afraid of not being good at it. I mean you're so good at it and I don't want to disappoint you."
His insecurities made my eyes swim with unshed tears as my heart swelled up at his words. They meant more to me than he will ever imagine.
"Oh Mark, there is no such a thing. Islam is about the continuous development of the relationship between you and Allah. Everything you do is for His sake. People's judgement means nothing in comparison to His. Mark, if you want to do this, if you want to revert; do it for yourself, not for me."
He looked at me with a small smile before nodding.
"I m going to just think about this for a bit longer. I want to be 100% dedicated and I want to put my all into this. It is a big life changing decision and I just want to be ready for it."
I nodded repeatedly at his familiar words which I once said to Amirah myself.
"Is that it?"
He pointed at the Quran. I understood what he meant. At this stage you feel not worth saying the name of the Holy Quran.
"Yes, this is the Holy Quran. It's not a book of science or predictions. It's a book of guidance to mankind."
I held up the beautiful white hardcover English translation of the Quran with a proud grin. I noticed the awe in his eyes as he stared at it reluctantly.
"You can hold it if you want"
I offered trying to relieve the first time I have ever touched the Quran. A spark of excitement erupted in his features as he held his hands out to me. He held it with such fragility as if it was a baby. A sudden idea popped into my mind as I watched him look at the cover.
"You know sometimes, when someone wants a sign from Allah or feel like they need reassurance, they open the Quran at a random page and read the first ayah that their eyes land on. Would you like to try that?"
He nodded and turned to a random page. His eyes flickered at the words for a few seconds before looking up at me with tears brimming in his eyes.
"And he found you lost and guided you"
A chill slid down my spine as goosebumps littered my skin.
Subhannallah.