Worth It

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter eighteen

The fault ,dear Brutus,is not in our stars/but in our selves.
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"I'll have a missioni steak,please"
I faced the waiter feeling Nate's eyes on me.
"Any drinks?"
his deep voice asked.
"I'd just like a water please"
I smiled at him,Damions eyes were burning my back making me feel self-cautious .
"Very well then, your orders will be here shortly"
the waiter nodded at us politely and then walked away.
"So what are you thinking of studying next year for college?"
Nate's mother asked in a sickly sweet voice.
I smiled at her politely ignoring everyone's eyes on me as I answered
"Law"
"Ooh"
a collection of amused and impressed murmurs filled the table. I looked down blushing.

No this did not turn out to be the clichéd dinner you thought it would be.
Indeed Damion somehow ended up showing up to the restaurant but Nate is the one sitting across me at this moment. During the whole dinner, I could feel the two boys eyes on me. Also Nate's brother! He is a shameless flirt. I'm not even messing. He's been throwing complimentary remarks here and there. My brother has been glaring at him but I don't think he noticed otherwise he's doing a good job of not showing it.
"So have you got any special guy on your mind then?"
Asks Bryan in a teasing manner, yes he is Nate's brother. My eyes flick to his. The electric blue sends a shiver down my spine. And not in a good way. His smirk is antagonizing. His eyes are magnetic, hard to pull away from. He raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow waiting for my answer. Everyone around the table is anxiously waiting for it too.
If I say I do, then he will leave me alone. If I say I don't, then Damion will hear it.
Damion.
That boy.
My head unconsciously turns around to look at him. I catch him staring. Our eyes lock like they used to when we would have our "I love you more" fights. He is laid back in his seat leaning on the back of the chair.His startling silver pecks swimming in the green pools.
He is also waiting for my answer.
His hair is ruffled in that perfect,sexy way it always is. He is clothed in a navy suit complimenting his gold complexion. The sleeves are folded up showing off his gold Armani watch,and his white collared shirt is unbuttoned at the top in a careless manner. His tie is loose but he still pulls it off and manages to take my breath away. My eyes are pulled back towards his eyes.
I can't look away.
It's like how it used to be.
The memories flood in like torrents hitting me hard.Like a hurricane. Destroying everything in my mind. Breaking down my mental wall that took me years to build.
Damion has the power to that with one look.
I can't think anymore. I've had enough.
Without tearing my eyes away from him I stand up and walk towards him. My dress dances around my feet.my heels clicking on the marble floors.
I stand in front of him and ask him that one question that has been haunting me for years.
"Why?"
My voice is barely a whisper laced in pain.
His eyes harden. His jaw clenched. His hands in fists. His legs twitch.
Black tears are now freely coloring my cheeks.
"Why would you do that to me?"
I sound completely helpless and I'm fully aware of his parents eyes on me. They stop there conversation and betray there food turning to look at me in confusion.
Damion doesn't say anything, he just looks at me clenching and unclenching his jaw. He does that when he is upset and mad. My hands fight to caress his tense cheeks.
It's unnatural. I should be in his arms right now. He shouldn't be making me cry. We should be together.
We love each other.
Damions eyes look pained, hurt, frustrated. His hands swipe across his mouth.He is irritated.
Why the hell would he be mad? He has no right to be mad after what he put me through! My tears suddenly stop and my face turns monotonous remembering what happened that night. I shake my head allowing the last tear to roll down my cheek.
Disappointment.
That's how I feel. That's what my eyes portray and Damion sees it. I smirk and scoff before walking away.
I ignore the callings of my family and walk towards the restrooms.
My hands are shaking uncontrollably. I have to take deep breaths to be able to continue walking.I walk past everyone's tables nearing the restroom.
"Are you okay, Miss?"
The valet from earlier asks. I look at him and force a smile. It falters as I see the sincere concern on his face.
"No"
I breathe.
He looks at me with hesitance before wrapping his arms around me. I tense up and he just holds me.
"Get off her!"
I hear Damions threatening authoritative deep voice. It's calm and collected. The valet lets go of me. He looks me in the eye asking for confirmation. I nod weakly.
"If you need anything just ask for me ok?"
He is too nice.
"Ok"
I croak.
He smiles and walks away leaving Damion and I in the maroon coloured corridor.
We have a staring match. I've said what I needed to say. It's his turn now. He is rigid, standing confidently, as attractive as ever. His eyes are dark and his jaw is set.
"You were everything to me"
he states. I close my eye feeling a pang of hurt hearing the word "were". Of coarse he replaced me. Why would you expect someone like Damion to love in the first place?
Because he showed you. Somewhere in the back of my mind answers.
"I loved you with everything I had"
He's just hurting me more right now. I'm leaning on the closest wall because I feel like I'm gonna collapse. I smell Damions intoxicating smell get closer and open my eyes. He is only a few feet away from me. The inexplicable link between us is crying to join up.
His eyes are staring at me with so much electricity,a chill sizzles down my back.
"It was our anniversary"
he continues "I woke up feeling like the luckiest guy in the world cause I was with you. And then you just..."
he looks up at the ceiling. Biting his knuckles he turns back at me. I'm now a crumpled mess at the floor.
I feel so pathetic looking at him knowing what he has done to me. How I'm crying over him even after he took away the most important thing away from me.
"You have no right to be mad at me!"
I yell startling him and myself.
His eyebrows scrunch in confusion.
"You were the one that hurt me! You have got some serious gut to actually even think of coming near me? Did I ever even mean anything to you? Did you ever even love m-"
"OFCOARSE I DID! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING? WHAT IS wrong with you?"
His outburst left me wide-eyed.
"Then why would you do that to me?" I whispered completely hopeless in a crying mess at the floor.
"UGH!!! WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT? YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LEFT ME? CAN YOU PLEASE STOP BLAMING ME!!!! "
He punches the wall above me making me cry harder.What is this boy doing? I only left him because of what he did. My uncontrollable sobbing gets louder, my dress pooled around me and my makeup trailing down my face.
"Just stop! Your hurting me even more. Maybe we weren't meant to be together."
I finally have had enough. I don't even have any energy to look up at him but I can feel his piercing gaze looking down at me.
"Maybe we were just a mistake"
I Try to wipe away my makeup. Seeing black blobs disturbing my vision because of the clumped mascara. I sniff repeatedly.
"Maybe we never actually loved each other"
I close my eye at the lies I'm spurting. The lies I try to convince my self as the growing pain in my chest makes me heave.
I hear Damion bending down in front of me. His hands grab my chin and forces me to face him. I refuse to open my eyes. He has seen me in similar conditions. Just never because of him.
"Open your eyes"
I bite my lips.
"Alanna for the love of god, open your damn eyes"
his grip on my face gets harder, almost painful.
I open them to be welcomed by his piercing green pools. The ones I always got lost looking into. The ones that read me like an open book.
We look at each other for a few more moments before he says
"Just tell me why you left"
What is wrong with him? Does he seriously think that I would say it out loud? Does he jut want to boast about it? Is he that sick?
He sees the resentment and unapproval in my eyes and looks taken back. His eyes are questioning, waiting.
"You are sick"
I spit in disgust suddenly getting energy to get up and walk away as far and as fast as I possible. I don't get far though because as expected Damion grabs my arm and pulls me back. Tears storm in my eyes remembering what happened that night.
Damions eyes flicker around my face drinking in every detail and looking honestly puzzled, trying to figure me out.
"Just tell me"
he whispers. I have never said it out loud before to anybody. Nobody knows what happened that night except the people involved.

"You got your friends to rape me"

And it hits me like never before squeezing my heart as the memories of that night return. Restricting my breath. Blurring my vision.
I collapse after seeing Damions wide eyed look of fright and fury.

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Authors note;
And that's what happened that night!!! Some of you already knew hahhaha but there you go!

Thank you so much! I hope you liked this chapter. It was the hardest I have ever written.

I know I am terrible at uploading but Walahi I have so much to do. I am incredibly busy with school work and life. I know that my countless times of saying sorry will never make up for it so I hope this chapter kinda does.
This chapter was rewritten because the first time I wrote it, it got deleted and oh ya Allah you will not believe how mad I was because it was so long and took me for ages! So when I wrote this chapter again I wasn't really feeling it.

Also this chapter is not edited!!

I promise to upload the next chapter by next week! Just bear with me please :D
Anyways I hope you his have a happy new year! I hope this year is nothin but amazing for you !
I love you all for your support and I hope you don't hate me even though u have every right to!
Stay beautiful, stay strong.
Safa