Worth It

Chapter Sixteen

Even if we survive the collapse of our sun we will not survive forever

Chapter sixteen

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"No" Mark dictated Alex and I's answer as he spoke to the doctor.
"I understand, I'll give you a moment to speak to each other" the doctor walked off leaving Alex and I with confused looks towards Mark. Mark walked off leaving us with our confusion. The numbness in my legs disappeared and I looked at Alex. "Go talk to him" Alex told me. I got up and ran towards Mark.
He was sitting on the steps the wind blowing through his hair. He was looking at the sky and his cheeks glistened with his tears.
I sat on the step beside him. "Dad might die. We can't risk that" he croaked,his voice full of fear.
"Dad is going to die anyways. Mark this is our only chance, he might live because of this operation or he might die. There going to remove his support of oxygen anyways. He's going to die either way but with the surgery there might be a slight chance to live" he still didn't look at me as I said this to him. "First mum now dad. Why does God hate us?" His voice broke on the last word.
"In the Quran it says; "Every soul shall taste death" Allah doesn't hate us, he loves us. No matter what he puts us through.Challenges of life are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. " Mark looked at me, devastation and pride in his eyes before hugging me. He kissed my forehead and stood up offering me a hand. I took it and we walked together towards the doctors office to change our answer.

It's been three hours since dad has gotten into the operation room. His surgery is taking a worryingly long amount of time. Amirah's father and mother are here as well since they have become good friends with my mother and father. You know with the informal dinners and complimentary parties. Amirah was sitting beside me too offering me support. David and Tom are also here. they are Fathers brothers. Tom brought his adorable seven year old beautiful daughter, Faith. she was currently sitting on my lap.
Since the operation,there has been numerous doctors and nurses frantically running in and out of the operation room.
I have been getting increasingly worried as the time clicks.

"It's okay habibti,everything will be okay with Allah's permission" Amirah's mother Mariem whispered to me as she squeezed my hand. Alex was hugging Mark who was in a conversation with Foad,Amirah's father.
"Habibti Alex come here" Mareim waved to Alex to come. Alex obeyed and hugged Mareim sitting on her lap.she chuckled as Mareim cooed in her ear treating her like a baby. Faith got off my lap and tan towards Mareim wanting the attention she deserved.
We all forced a laugh and abruptly stopped as a docter left the door. We stood up just like we do every other time a doctor left. The doctor looked stressed as he took off his blue gloves and took off his glasses rubbing his eyes. We all held our breath waiting for this news. This felt like de ja vu. You know with the whole "whatever this doctor says will either ruin us or give us happiness thing".
The doctor let out a long breath before saying
"We have done all we can,the rest is up to the one above" he pointed to the ceiling and I heard Mareim whispering "لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله" (expresses losing hope in one's abilities to solve a problem, so s\he acknowledges that God Almighty is the only one who has got the might and the power to solve it).
I looked up and whispered "ya Allah please, please"
We all nodded numbly and went to take our seats as Mark and Foad talked to the doctor. I really don't care about what the doctor is going to say. I looked straight at the wall in front of me feeling Alex lay her head on my shoulder and Amirah rubbing my arms in a comforting manner.

I nonchalantly wrote down our homework for the day. I'm in Maths class and I kept feeling Amirah's worried glances come my way. My father is still unconscious in the hospital since yesterday and I have seriously given up. It's come to a point where I say screw everything. What ever happens, happens and there is nothing in my hand to stop it. I repeatedly blinked trying to trap the unwanted tears from coming out. I stuffed my books in my bag as did everyone else when the bell rang.
"Ms Walsh may I have a word with you before you leave" I looked up at my teacher as he said this and so did the students leaving the class. They glanced at me one last time before running out the class to get the best food in the cafeteria.
"Yes sir" I walked up closer to his desk and held the strap of my bag very tightly.
Amirah signaled with her hands that she was going to wait outside for me before smiling at me and following the sea of students out in the hallway. I looked out the door window as the teacher closed the door and walked back to his desk. I looked at the students speeding past the door not giving a second glance to anyone around them and wandered how there lives were. Where they like me? Did there parents die? Or are they short on money and have to wear the same shirt everyday cause they can't afford a new one? Or were they depressed because of they have self issues.
The teacher, Mr Wilson cleared his throat to get my attention. My eyes lingered a little bit longer at the door as I thought of my father currently in his death bed. I looked back at the teacher.
" I'm sorry to be taking time away from your lunch but this is important" I nodded.
"I have noticed that your grades have dropped dramatically since you have been back to school. You have been handing in homework late and you have become unenthusiastic to answer questions in class.Believe it or not,but your attitude has been affecting the students around you"he continued.
"now,I am not saying this to discourage you but unfortunately if you don't higher your grades up by the end of these three months, you will not be able to graduate this year and that would be very disappointing since your normally a bright honorable student to teach. You were also voted valedictorian and I'm sure if your grades continue to drop,that role will be taken away from you, and that will also be a bigger disappointment " The teacher told me strictly. He shook his head sadly waiting for my answer. He said this as if it was the worst thing in the world. If only.
" my mother passed away last month. My father was in coma for a month and had a very risky surgery done to him yesterday and has still not awoken. My grades have been dropping because I was in depression and anxiety from losing my parents. My grades will improve. I hope that is a valid reason for my irrational acts during school" I told him my already already scripted answer.His face visibly softened and his eyes opened wide.
"I.. I am deeply ... I send my condolences to you deeply" he struggled for his words. It was the first time I heard my Maths teachers be at a loss for words. He is normally very formal in his speech and it was very unusual to see such a prestige man be like this.
" thank you. May I leave?" I asked nonchalantly. I blinked repeatedly thinking of how disappointed my mother would be because of my grades dropping. He nodded repeatedly still in shock. I walked out not looking back. I was bombarded in a hug as I left the door. I identified my best friend through the teal material of her hijab in my face.
"Let's go to lunch" I stated not wanting to mention what happened. She understood and we walked to the cafeteria arm-in-arm.
My hand shot up as I heard my phone vibrate in my pocket.
"May I be excused?" I asked our English teacher Mr Smith. His eyebrows shot up. "And where exactly would you like to be excused to Alanna?" He asked with amusement lacing his voice.
"The um bathroom" I said u surely. My phone wouldn't stop vibrating.
"Would this have to do with your phone ringing?" His cocky voice asked.
Okay let me tell you a little about Mr Smith. He's an u usually good looking young teacher that all girls in the school love. He's very witty and eloquent. He's confidant and someone to go to when you need help. Lets just say he is also gifted in his amazing talent of writing. His linguistics also are excellent. So yeah me and him are pretty close and we have this play like manner in our speech all the time.
"May I just speak to you outside for a second?"
And that was why I am currently Skidding around the corners of the corridors of the hospital towards my fathers room. Mark rang me during that class to tell me that my father had awoken and that he wanted to see me as soon as possible. Mr Smith said it was fine with him and got someone to give me a ride to the hospital.
"DAD!" I yelled as I got into his room. His chest was bandaged up and exposed to the warm spring air. He shot up and his face contoured pain as he put his hand on his chest. I ran to his bed and hugged him so hard forgetting about his chest. Mark was sitting in the side of the bed alongside Alexandria but I I didn't even glance at them.I was just relieved beyond words. There was nothing to express how happy I was at that moment. My father had me in his arms once again. And for a very long time hopefully.
Silent tears were falling from my eyes and I vowed those would be the last for a long time.