If I Can Love You, Why Can't You? - A Werewolf Novel

If I Can Love You, Why Can't You? - Chp 18 [It's Beginning To Get To Me]

And it's beginning to get to me/I know more of the stars and sea/Than I do of what's in your head/Barely touching in our cold bed~Snow Patrol – It’s Beginning To Get To Me

From there on in my HSC exams began and I drove myself beyond stressed and unhealthy. I felt nocturnal, but it didn’t matter, I just needed to get it done. My intentions? To prove to my mother I didn’t need one of those fancy tutors.

Will was also right, I did hear from him. Sure I got a phone call at night or every second night, short and sweet and a random text throughout the day saying something like ‘I love you’ or ‘dreaming of your beautiful smile’. I was aching for him so much that I drove myself into my studies some more for a distraction. Yet the hole in my chest never left. I think Will was anxious as to not hold up my time so that I couldn’t study, he was being too cautious and loving.

I was alone one afternoon and my next exam wasn’t until another three days, the house was empty and I was lacking concentration as I constantly fidgeted. Sighing in defeat I grabbed my Ute’s keys and headed to Will’s.

I knew I didn’t need to call ahead seeing as I popped in all the time and I was family. Liz had already popped around once during my HSC and gave me a whole container of cookies for an energy boost. She was like the mother I never had, how a mum was supposed to act.

Pulling up at Will’s house I smiled loving how opened and free it was, a real woodsy house with an overgrown garden of millions of flowers. Their backyard the forest, the road miles away.

Walking up the front steps the door opened before me “Hey litter sister.” I smiled up at Grant. Grant since that night in the lounge room has called me his litter sister since I was practically was, with the amount of time I spent here.

I smiled up at him “Hey, you off to the shop?” I asked noting his shoes and car keys in hand.

“Yup. Running late too, dad will eat me. Catch ya little one.” He said patting my head.

I playfully shoved him before walking inside to the kitchen.

“Tanze! My goodness are your exams over?” Liz cried brushing the loose strands from her eyes as she straightened her hunt in the cupboards over.

I shook my head sadly “Two more left.” I said smiling lightly.

She smiled “You’ll do fine sweetie.” She said running her hand through my hair lovingly. Now this is what a mum should be like. “Besides, if you don’t get the marks it’s not the end of the world, there are other ways.” Can you be my mum?! I felt like begging. I just smiled as she returned to pulling out a saucepan. “I'm sorry love but William isn’t here.” I loved how Liz called Will William, although he hated. I tried to keep my face expressionless

“It’s okay; I just came to visit you or anyone. The house is dead still at home. Is he still studying away also?” I tried to lighten myself.

“Mmmm, he’s with Erin.”

My stomach clenched.

“Erin?” I asked clearing my throat subtly.

“Yes Erin, she lives in the town over. An old friend of Will’s, well actually an old girlfriend. Her father is Alpha over there and has more of a library collection that us, after all there aren’t that many of us at all here in Dame.” She said her usual happy self as she washed the dishes, her backed turned to me.

She was oblivious to how sick I suddenly felt. I nodded numbly feeling disconnected, I felt as if my heart had shrunken or been squashed. My breath was uneven and I felt stiff and awkward, suddenly too weak to carry my own weight.

Liz looked over her shoulder at me “Honey are you alright?”

I blinked a couple times, pulling myself back together as Liz watched me with concern. “Sure. I don’t feel too well, I think I may head off.” I said faintly not even sure of what I was saying.

“Oh you sure you don’t want to say for dinner? Will will be back in an hour or so.”

I suddenly felt like running. Suddenly I didn’t feel like seeing Will at all.

“No, no. I'm fine, um, yeah. I'll drop around another time.” I said backing to the door.

Liz smiled awkwardly through her frown of worry “Alright dear, I'll tell him you dropped by. Good luck with your exams.”

“Thank you.” I wheezed before racing to my Ute.

♥

Its okay, it’s alright. I soothed myself on the ride home. It’s nothing. Just an ex-girlfriend. An ex-girlfriend I was told nothing about. I gripped the steering wheel tighter. So what? Nothing happened….right? He didn’t love her…right? Suddenly I felt highly self conscious; was she prettier than I? Is she a better kisser? Had they slept together?

Oh god I was hyperventilating. And speeding!

Oh god!

I strangled the steering wheel racing safely for my room.

Was there anymore Susan Boyle albums?

Oh god! Oh god!

Deep breaths. Keep it together. Nearly there.

Parking with a slam on the breaks I raced up the front steps into my room suddenly angry, no ferocious. Why was she researching with Will about soul mates, when I was his soul mate? Shouldn’t it be me? Stalking across my room I found no Susan Boyle albums. Kicking the wall I settled on snapping a pen.

I really needed a boxing bag.

________________________
Click the external link for my Facebook page
So you guys know my drill; vote, comment and maybe give me a fan, yeah?Do it, I dare you ;) Xx
-------------------------------------
All Rights Reserved
Copyrighted Material ©
-------------------------------------