If I Can Love You, Why Can't You? - Chp 39 [The Reason]

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I've found a reason for me/To change who I used to be/A reason to start over new/And the reason is you~Hoobastank – The Reason

“You’re pregnant!” he cried at the exact same time as the daunting words of utter horror left my lips, a huge beautiful smile on his face as his hands ran in circles on my stomach.

Yet even that gorgeous smile of his couldn’t soften the horror stricken face of my own. I could practically see the words I had murmured as soft and fragile as the breeze finally set in and sit heavily on his shoulders, I could practically hear the sound of his heart stuttering and shriveling into a smaller size. I could see the doubt, hesitation and the pain that those two tiny words of utter horror had caused as they reverberated throughout his entire body, his soothing and electrifying hand stopping almost causing me to cry out in distain. I watched, as if he’d been punched, the huge smile of his that was so vibrant and happy falter and droop down into a frown of utter worry and confusion.

“Uh…..oh?” he asked of me, his voice more vulnerable than I had ever seen causing guilt and pain to hit me just as hard as I realized that this was me doing this to him. He shook his head, as if trying to wrap his head around those two simple words, two words that weren’t even in the dictionary since they were just….common sense. “Gorgeous we’re having a baby and the first thing you can say is uh, oh?” he asked, his voice not even having enough strength to sound accusing.

As those simple words left his mouth, those words deeming my future in a nutshell I couldn’t help but crack. I threw my hands up in the air in utter freak out mode, as if a bomb had hit the earth’s surface and it was the end.

“Yes, a baby Will!” I cried, my voice shrill in utter and complete horror “I’m eighteen and having a baby!” I cried, my windpipes not even having enough strength to contain the air I was choking on, the fear that was choking me. “I can’t do this….” I murmured softly shaking my head “I just can’t do this.”

Pushing on Will’s chest he moved easily, himself still in utter shock at my outbreak. Jumping off the table I marched or rather ran passed him and out the back of the garage to where my Ute was gleaming, as if begging for me to take and run. I’d never been happier to see that taunting gleam in my life.

Throwing the door opened I practically threw myself into the driver’s seat, not even caring about the fact that I was the only employee working at the garage right now and I was meant to lock up. Turning the Ute on I drilled my foot on the accelerator not even having the focus to scold myself for that knowing it was bad for my baby. But the word baby just forced my foot harder on the accelerator as the tires squealed and the smell of hot plastic reached my ears from the tires. With as much force and brutality as a sharks jaw I yanked on the gear shift and threw it into reverse, mentally cringing at the thunking sound it made to the gearshift. Without a second of hesitation I reversed, not looking and spun around before I forced myself screaming down the back street of the garage which we employees used.

With a burning scream my Ute came to an abrupt halt in the middle of the street, at that point I sent up a silent prayer to whoever the hell was listening to the fact that the garage was on a back street and a rather quiet street off our main street, meaning that there was no body about, maybe just a few people hearing from the safety of their home.

My hand clenched the steering wheel dangerously as I took in deep breaths, closing my eyes as if that in itself would be magic and I’d pop back into another world, maybe a parallel universe. I tried with all my might to take deep steadying breaths, trying to calm down with all my might as my body sat rigid in utter denial still and yet I could feel the bubbling of nerves and utter fear settling deep within my stomach, my lunch suddenly threatening to make an appearance just in a more disturbing sight than before consumed.

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