Catching Feelings- Leah Williamson

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Hailey's POV

This is the end.

Im walking around the training ground without people knowing that it's the last time I'll be playing with them, a thousand thoughts clouding my head.

It was all Jonas' doing. He didn't want my transfer to be announced to the media yet, which was completely weird.

Shouldn't we have announced it a long time ago?

Instead, Jonas has left me with the weight and guilt of keeping it a secret from everyone. Not that it makes a huge difference for me.

Its all going to hurt the same when it all goes down.

I check my watch before taking it off. 20 minutes before the game starts. 20 minutes before I head out onto the pitch an Arsenal player one last time.

I gulp down, trying to shove away all the feelings going through my entire body.

"You look nervous" Caitlin says placing both hands on my shoulder, her excited voice lightning my mood a little, "since when is Hailey Webster nervous before a game?"

I slightly smile, trying not to give myself away.

"Yeah well... I just cant wait to be on the pitch and playing already"

"Don't worry. We all know you'll be bringing the player of the match trophy home" Caitlin throws one of her arms around my shoulder and we walk together.

"Thank you for being here" I wrap my arms around her, feeling thankful for all the moments we've spent together these past few months. In all of this chaos, Caitlin was literally like a breath of fresh air for me.

"Hailey, I love you too but why are you hugging me like im about to disappear?" Caitlin laughs, patting me on the back, "I'll be cheering you on from the stand"

I loosen my hold from around her, chucking along.

Having put on my kit for the last time, I walk towards the line up. From the spot where im standing, I notice my mum, standing at a corner with an arsenal shirt on with 'WEBSTER' on the bacl, looking a little anxious. Julie is standing right beside her since I told her to keep her company, hoping it will make this entire experience easier for her. Just before I look away, she catches my eyes and gives me the brightest of smiles and a thumbs up, which I return but I assume my smile isn't just as bright.

"Hailey"

I turn my head towards the voice, seeing Katie with Hannah behind me.

"Hey Katie" I greet her and give the girl beside her a smile, which she doesn't return, before they approach me.

Katie opens her mouth to speak but then stops and turns to look at her girlfriend, "do you mind if I talk to her in private?"

Hannah shifts her gaze from Katie to me and she doesn't look pleased at all, but she fakes a smile before murmuring a cold "of course"

Hannah gives us some space, but still stands a few feet away, not moving her eyes from Katie and me.

She definitely doesn't like me.

"Ready for today?" I ask Katie in order to relieve some tension that's been building up, but she ignores my question.

"Listen Hailey... Im sorry" she says, frowning a little.

"Why are you sorry?" I cross my arms in front of my chest.

"You didn't deserve this" Katie runs one of her hands through her hair frustrated " I couldn't stop thinking about it all night and I just feel so bad" she shakes her head but I just look down at my hands.

"Katie"

"You didn't deserve to leave because of what Leah did. You didn't deserve any of it" Katie blurts out, making me feel lost.

"What do you mean?"

"Especially because in the end" she lowers her voice, "we didn't even get a chance together, so it wasn't worth all of this"

I watch her talk, confused, not a single thing that she's saying making sense to me.

"Katie, slow down" I say and she breathes in, "what do you mean by because of what Leah did?"

"Im talking about the letter" Katie tries to explain but I raise one of my eyebrows.

What the hell is she talking about?

"What letter?"

"The letter that was sent to the FA?" she adds, "the one where..." Katie begins to say but her words fade away because of the realisation, "you don't know"

"Know what?"

"Fuck" Katie curses under her breath before looking away.

"Katie!" I whisper-shout, "just tell me what the hell is going on already"

Katie puts her hand on my back, guiding us to a secluded corner that's not crowded with people but I can still feel Hannah's eyes burning on my back.

"Jonas was supposed to tell you" Katie sights, putting both of her hands on her waist, "what did he even tell you yesterday?" she quickly asks.

"He told me that Viv's coming back"

Katie pulls her eyebrows together with a surprised face.

"What?" I talked to Viv yesterday" she shakes her head, "she's not supposed to be back for at least another few weeks"

"What?" I ask in disbelieve, my voice barely a whisper.

Jonas lied to me. He lied to me again.

I feel my nails dig into my palm as my patience with my head coach is running dangerously low.

Why would he lie to me about this?

"He's covering it up" Katie whispers, tugging the fron pieces of her hair as she comes to the realisation, "he's covering it all up" she repeats more confidently, "if word got out to the media about the letter and the reason behind it..." Katie bites her lower lip before continuing, "It would have ruined the teams reputation"

"Katie" I catch her attention, "you need to tell me what was in this letter and what all of this has to do with Leah"

Katie looks at me unsure.

"Now" I cross my arms in front of my chest, letting her know that I'm not going anywhere without her telling me.

"There was a letter" Katie clears her throat before continuing "sent to the FA"

I feel my heart beating faster,

I don't think im going to like what she's about to tell me.

"Its regarding... well, you and Leah's PR relationship and there's a mention about, well... us" she continues and I close my eyes, feeling defeated as I put all of the pieces together. "The FA wasn't happy with the news"

I let my head fall down, putting my hand to my mouth.

No. This cant be true.

"I know nothing really happened between us but one of us still had to leave" Katie says lowly, "I really didn't want to come down to this"

It all made perfect sense. It was either them or me.

I wasn't leaving because Viv was coming back. That was all a lie. I was leaving because I made a stupid mistake. Getting close with my team mate. And now I was paying for it.

"Hailey" Katie calls out my name and I look up at her, "the letter, it was written by..." Katie's words get stuck in her throat.

But she doesn't have to tell me who wrote it, because I already know who did.

"It was Leah wasn't it?" I ask with a shaky voice, still hoping and holding my breath, wishing that Katie will object but she...

She nods.