Catching Feelings- Leah Williamson

Chapter Forty-Two

Leah's POV

Present

It feels like I've been in a haze for the last 75 minutes of the game. My mind everywhere but the game in front of me. To be honest im surprised I haven't been subbed off.

"You're dead to me"

Her words... those gut wrenching words that haven't left my head ever since they came from her mouth... from those beautiful lips that comforted me only a few days ago, those same lips dug up an open grave for me.

I curse myself. I curse myself a million times for causing her pain when I said that I would never hurt her. I curse myself for stealing the smile on her face that would brighten up my day and replacing it with tears instead.

"I almost wish we never met"

I blink fast, missing a strike. I feel helpless... I felt helpless, watching my entire world fall apart and all I could do was just that... stare as it crumbled into nothing. She wished she could go back... she wished we would never meet but here I am, not regretting a single moment believing that she is right for me.

Is...was?

Did I absolutely ruin it? Did my hot temper put me in there middle of a war that I won't come out of alive? No winning chances, no happy endings?

Do us traitors never win?

I'm stupid for hoping that Hailey will be ably to look past this. Past what I did. I'm stupid for hoping that she will forgive me, because I know that what I have done is utterly unforgivable and if I could go back and erase everything, if it meant that I would get to have her in the end, if it meant that I would never lose her, I would in a heartbeat.

Hope breeds eternal misery, but here I am, still hoping its her and me in the end... us.

Us. I chuckle, feeling my eyes burn as the pitch in front of me becomes blurry. Maybe there was never an 'us'. Maybe she wasn't mine to lose at all. Maybe... its our almost that will haunt me forever. Having to see her face everywhere and know that she's not mine, that she wants nothing to do with me.

And to think that I wasn't even searching for her in the first place. I wasn't even looking for love. What a plot twist she was.

Her entire being made me angry and frustrated and confused, but most importantly...

She made me feel.

My parents had taught me not to hate my enemies... but I just never thought that I would fall in love with one.

Since she had come into my life, all those romance movies and roman tic songs just started to make sense. I can't even listen to 'Yellow' now without thinking of her, I know she didnt say anything in return but that doesn't change how I feel.

I love her. And that's the beginning and the end of everything.

I can't let this be the end. I won't allow myself to give up without putting up a fight. I know Hailey wouldnt. I have to fight for her. Let her know that this wasn't just some sick game but it was absolutely everything.

I have to let her know that it wasn't me. It wasn't me who sent that awful letter. And that I regret it. All of it.

I'm going to get onto my god damn knees if I have to and beg her to stay, because I can't have her walk out on me. I can't have her be nothing but a memory of the past, not when I want to build a future with her. The sooner this game ends, the sooner I can put a stop to my misery.

Hailey's POV

Its when I see everyone stop mid corner that I realise what just happened. My legs begin to shake as I through a look around. Jonas is going wild, but its the medical staff that rushes past me, making me stop in my tracks.

Whats going on?

I follow them with my eyes as they sprint over to where we had just taken a corner, Manu, Lotte and Katie starting to panic as well. Shortly another medical team and paramedics rush onto the pitch.

I try to make out what's going on, but its impossible to see from my position, and now Jonas has called the rest of the team over to the sideline.

"Whats going on?" I ask Jonas.

I look around at the rest of the girls who have now joined us on the sideline and I can tell by the look on their faces, and the absence of one person in particular who it is that's down on the pitch.

"Who's hurt?"

Beth throws me a look and her mouth forms a thin line, like she's trying to bite her words back. I raise my eyebrows, encouraging her to reply.

"Leah..." she sighs, "she's unconscious, she went to head the ball and clashed with one of the other girls"