Catching Feelings- Leah Williamson

Chapter Forty-Three

Hailey's POV

I hear my name being shouted from the sideline, but I purposely ignore it... I purposely ignore my heart beating like crazy, my hands shaking.

The world itself has stopped spinning, everybody holding their breath, hoping, praying for any news to be delivered. Sirens of the ambulance in the background cuts through the air, ringing in my ears before turning off. After that its complete silence. Silence is so deafening that I can practically hear my teeth ticking.

There is absolutely nothing that I can do to fix this. To help her. I feel useless. Perhaps all along it was the aftermath that I should have been fearing.

I gulp down my dry throat as my eyes search for any piece of a sign. And that's when I see her. I gasp, my mouth falling wide open like I'm about to scream, but no sounds come out. My entire body lights up on goosebumps and I could swear I feel my bones tattering.

I watch on as they work on her and I am immediately brought back to the night that I have been trying to forget. The vision of a scared young version of me, crying and hiding my teary-eyed face behind my mum staring at my brother's lifeless body. And here I am, years later, watching history repeat itself.

I close my eyes, my entire body going numb, feeling as light as a feather and I imagine Leah. I imagine her sitting up, unscathed as she takes my hand and walk me through this storm. I imagine her holding me and telling me that everything will be alright and I would tell her that I am sorry... about everything and that I love her. If only I had the chance.

"Make some space!"

I hear somebody shout and at that moment I reopen my eyes and I am met with Leah on a stretcher rushing her off the pitch towards the ambulance waiting nearby.

"Hailey!" I hear someone call my name, but I only keep looking ahead, determined to get past the wall of paramedics, "what do you think you're doing?"

Someone takes ahold of my wrist, not letting go and I turn around only to be met by Katie. Her face is red and she looks tired but she lets go of my hand when she seems me, giving me an apologetic look. She pities me and I hate that feeling. I feel so small, so weak.

"I need to go and make sure she's okay" I turn back around but Katie now takes a hold of both of my forearms.

"No Hailey..." she forces me to look at her "what you need right now is to make sure that you're okay first"

"Im fine!" I yell, im not the one inside of an ambulance.

"No you're not!" Katie says and pulls me into a hug, restraining me from moving or doing anything else. I protest at first, trying to break away from her embrace but eventually I give in. She caresses my back and plays with my hair, trying to take my mind off of everything. Maybe I need someone to share the pain and all this burden with.

I watch the ambulance drive away from over Katies shoulder with teary eyes until it faced away from my vision.

"I need to get to the hospital" I say and Katie pulls away, using her thumbs to wipe away my tears "I'll drive you there" she kindly offers but I shake my head "you should stay" I pat her on the shoulder as a thank you "my parents will drive me"

I leak Katie standing there and with a heavy heart, barely standing, I go on a quest to find my parents.

************

"Leah Williamson, the young Arsenal footballer was involved in a serious head on collision with another player during the game this afternoon. She was immediately rushed to hospital and... "

My dad reaches over to the car radio, turning it off before looking at me through the rear view mirror "you okay back there champ?"

"Mhm" I sigh and look away, avoiding the way my mum had turned to look at me, just like she has done the entire car ride, like I might break any minute now.

I ignore the physical and mental pain I seem to be plunged into and concentrate on the tiny rain droplets on the car window with my eyes instead, tracing a few of them with my finger. I follow two little ones, who set out from the same spot and quickly slide together across the glass, like they're racing each other. The water drops come together too close and just as I start thinking they will collide with each other, they slide and go their separate ways.

The car soon comes to a stop and I realise that we are in the hospitals car park. Both of my parents get out of the car, I reach for the door handle to open in, but I am yet again frozen in place.

My dad opens the door for me instead "Hailey, its okay if you-"

"I just need a few seconds" I sniff closing my eyes and breathing in, taking a few moments to build up the confidence to walk in. I look up at my dad and he gives me a measuring smile, offering me his hand for me to take. I finally exit the car and both my mum and dad never leave my side, walking with me up to the reception desk.

"Leah Williamson" I say a bit urgently and out of breath to the receptionist, "where is she?"

"Are you a family member?" She looks up at me through her glasses before opening some files.

"No, I'm-m" my tongue ties as she raises one of her eyebrows "I'm her...girlfriend"

"Sorry" the lady looks down at her papers, going back to whatever she was doing beforehand "I can't give you this information"

'Please" I beg, putting my hands on the counter, trying to get her attention "I just need to see her"

She shakes her head.

"Could you at least tell me the condition that she's in?" I try again.

"You're not immediate family" she says, not bothering to even look at me.

"You dont understand!" My voice breaks "she needs me!"

I need her.

"I'm sorry but I can't help you"

I back away from the counter, putting my hands through my hair, frustrated. My mum caresses my back trying to calm me down while my dad goes back to the receptionist, trying to convince her to let me in. Just as I start feeling like a lost cause, a familiar face walks downstairs.

Jacob Williamson.

The young Williamson brother hangs up his phone as soon as he spots me and starts walking my way. I let go of my mums hand and rush to Jacob.

"Hailey" Jacob extends his hand, meeting it with my forearm in a friendly gesture, "I'm Jacob, Leah's brother" he introduces himself, even though I already know him and know.

"I wish we could have met under better circumstances" I say gently and Jacob squeezes his mouth shut. He looks devastated, his light coloured eyes seem tired.

"Come on" Jacob gestures for me to follow him "I'll take you to see her"